THE BLOG
10/30/2014 12:29 pm ET Updated Dec 30, 2014

I'm Begging

JGI/Jamie Grill via Getty Images

IT'S ON!!

Lesley and Bruce, I've always been able to count on you as mom and dad. Now I really need you to step up.

I just announced my candidacy for Recording Secretary of Larry Storch Elementary School Student Council.

As you know, this became an open seat when Emma Nibley's father was transferred to the new Dinette 'N Den in Stutsville. My opponent is Haylee Hollis (my ex-best friend who's only running because Liam liked her but now he likes me).

So, Lesley and Bruce, can you help?

CHIP IN .50 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $1 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $2 = CLICK HERE

Together, we can make Storch Shine!

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HAVE YOU HEARD?

Lesley and Bruce, I know it's been only 3 minutes since my last email, but I haven't heard from you.

I emailed about my campaign for Recording Secretary of Larry Storch Elementary School Student Council.

We're in this together. Literally. We're driving to Gammy and Gramps' for dinner. I know Bruce can't text while driving, so Lesley, I NEED YOUR HELP!

CHIP IN .50 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $1 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $2 = CLICK HERE

We must do an oaktag and sharpee buy for posters that say "I'M MAD ABOUT MADISON" Our fundraising deadline is 9 pm, when I go night-night.

No time to waste, Lesley and Bruce!!!!!!!

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Late Breaking!

Lesley and Bruce, I wanted you to hear the news first.

Tonight, a generous donor offered to TRIPLE MATCH any contribution we receive.

That's right. After dinner, when I told Gramps about this race, he said: "Madison, if you quit talking and let me watch my Golden Girls marathon, I'll match any donation up to five bucks." Then said something about Bea Arthur.

CHIP IN .50 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $1 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $2 = CLICK HERE

Let's make Storch Shine!

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TERRIFYING NEWS!!!!

Lesley and Bruce, I just heard the news.

A new front group just ambushed us with $15 worth of neon oaktag for my opponent's campaign posters.

At tonight's Loomsville Chamber of Commerce meeting, Hayley Hollis' father collected donations for his "little politician." The meeting was advertised as a history of loom knitting in our town. But the agenda is clear: defeat Madison McMahon.

We must stop this blizzard of outside spending against us, Lesley and Bruce!

Can I count on you to chip-into my RAPID RESPONSE FUND?

CHIP IN .50 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $1 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $2 = CLICK HERE

PS: If you click now, I'll walk Smookie for, like, evuh!

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ALL HOPE IS.....LOST.

I won't sugarcoat it.

We're in trouble.

We're still short of our fundraising goal of two contributions from 29 Algonquin Lane, Loomsville.

Meanwhile, the special interests are targeting us.

· The teachers unions. (Specifically Mrs. O'Brian, who gave me a "Needs Improvement" on my diorama of Christopher Columbus buying Manhattan from the Indians for $24 worth of beanie babies).

· The Administration (specifically Principal Peabody, for removing my campaign poster about my ex best-friend Hayley Hollis' scandal with Liam, who I now hate).

· Even the Storch Twirlers (I didn't "deliberately" use my baton "as a projectile weapon against Hayley Hollis" as alleged by Coach Bustos. That's a political smear that the voters of Larry Storch Elementary School reject. It slipped.)

There's still time, Lesley and Brian.

CHIP-IN .50 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $1 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $2 = CLICK HERE

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I'M BEGGING.

I know you've received lots of emails since we drove back from Gammy and Gramps.

So I'll make this one short.

I'm begging.

If we don't hit our fundraising goal of 2 donations from Lesley and Bruce at 29 Algonquin Lane, Loomsville, it's over.

CHIP IN .50 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $1 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $2 = CLICK HERE

Also, can my new best friend Olivia sleep-over tomorrow? Xoxoxox.

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B-Y-E. FOREVER!

Last night I asked.

I pleaded.

I even begged.

But I never heard from you about my race for Recording Secretary of Larry Storch Elementary School.

So, I have no choice.

Right now, while Bruce is setting the table and Lesley is cooking breakfast, I'm packing my Elsa and Anna backpack from my all-time favorite movie, "Frozen."

I'm running away. Forever.

Lesley and Bruce, we have one last chance to right this ship. To do it, we need 2 donors from 34 Algonquin Lane, Loomsville.

Chip in .50 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $1 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $2 = CLICK HERE

PS: Is that Lesley's Famous Fancy French Toast I smell?

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Heard From Madison.

Hi Lesley and Bruce. I'm Madison's campaign manager and new best friend, Olivia. As a result of our last email, contributions are pouring in. In quarters, dimes and one Beanie Boo unicorn.

So It looks like she'll be joining you for Lesley's Famous Fancy French Toast.

Meanwhile we need only 2 more donations from 29 Algonquin Lane to hit our goal this morning.

CHIP IN .50 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $1 = CLICK HERE

CHIP IN $2 = CLICK HERE

Let Storch Shine!!!

P.S: Madison asked if I can sleepover tonight. My mom said it's ok, if you say yes.

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Rep. Israel's comic novel, The Global War On Morris, will be published by Simon & Schuster this January.