10/23/2013 03:25 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Coming Out With a Bang -- The Wilde Ten

It was a press conference that appeared on every TV station in the world. The celebrities included:

Erica Fitch, "America's Sweetheart," won Wimbledon four times.

George Earnest appears resplendent in his uniform as a general.

Patrician and elderly, Daphne Christie has written three classic novels which were made into hit movies.

Guy Stevens is the best known (and loved) astronaut in the world.

Symphony conductor assoluto, Arturo Vitale is celebrated for temperament as much as music.

Financial mogul and billionaire Adam Washington clearly resembles a founding father.

Media evangelist Johnny Cracker possesses a media smile. He's as famous in India as Kansas City.

The world's reigning sex goddess, Smokey Faith is beloved as a vulnerable superstar.

Butch Size, reigning action star, is number one in youth fan mail.

Tall and austere, Timothy Lewis is one of the most prestigious university presidents in the U.S.

Chosen to open the press conference, Lewis reads a short announcement: "We are here today as gay men and lesbians. We seek openness and honesty in our lives. We sincerely hope the true diversity of our lives may be celebrated with tolerance, mutual respect and goodwill."

The roof did not fall in. No one in the audience seemed to breathe for a moment. The naked, renowned faces of the celebrities are searched for clues to restore shattered images and myths. One question draws a chuckle from the media crowd.

"Do you think your announcement this morning will affect the Dow tomorrow?"

"Well, if it should do so," Adam Washington replies, "the market has needed a lift for some time."

As the notables' press conference drew to a conclusion, Daphne Christie dryly dubbed the gathered icons as the "Wilde Ten." Would this memorialize them forever? Media specialists mused that it seemed to embody a huge social surprise, a hard jolt of a culture shock, a dash of hard news, and inclusion trumping exclusion.

"Who knew?" someone asked. It was a questiion on everyone's lips.

"Everybody," came a retort.

After a moment's silence, someone else chimed in with a retort.

"Nobody," she opined.

Media immediately moved the story internationally.