04/23/2007 11:21 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

April 23, 2007 News Update

President Bush tells friendly audience, "...polls just go poof at times." Just like his administration.

Bush also explains he told White House concierge to make sure Oval Office rug says "Optimistic person comes to work." Then, when asked about Iraq, he said "Remember the rug." Now known as the Rug Rationale for disaster in Iraq. Maybe exit strategy will by Flying Carpet.

Bush suggests history will be kind to him. Shows he knows as little about future as he does about present..

Vermont Senate calls for impeachment of Bush and Cheney. Sorry, Senators, but impeachment requires "treason, bribery or other high crimes and misdemeanors," not stupidity, stubbornness and gross incompetence.

Sen. McCain says "No Plan B" for Iraq other than increasing number of American forces there. No Plan B for your campaign either, Senator. Your surge has ended.

Hundreds killed in Iraq during security crackdown in Iraq. Wrong kind of surging.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid says war in Iraq has been "lost." That's news?

Virginia Tech Tragedy. NRA Executive Director Chris Cox warns gun control advocates will use shooting to advance their cause. Not to worry, Chris, Congress too cowardly to take on most pernicious lobby in America.

Tom DeLay says solution to gun violence on campus is to allow all students to carry concealed weapons. What next, Tom, college gun duels as varsity sport?

Supreme Court upholds ban on late-term abortion. Only woman on Court dissents.

Gov. Jon Corzine seriously injured in car accident. We wish you a full and speedy recovery, Governor, but not wearing a seat belt and allowing your driver to go 91 mph do not set a good example for the citizens of New Jersey.

AG Alberto Gonzalez insists he did nothing wrong in the firing of US Attorneys, but says 71 times he could not recall events leading up to firing. Maybe he's suffering from Bushheimer's Disease.

World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz under fire for providing government favors for girlfriend. So why would you expect a guy who was a chief architect of the War in Iraq to show good judgment elsewhere?

NBC criticized for showing tapes of deranged killer. On the other hand, network finally had a hit.

Hillary Clinton says if elected, she would make husband Bill Ambassador to the World to restore good will toward America. If Al Gore had been smart enough to do something similar, he might still be President today.

Hillary goes to Rutgers, girls' basketball team does not show up for meeting with her. Bet they would have met with Obama.

Rush Limbaugh suggests Clintons were responsible for firing of Don Imus because he was critical of Hillary. So what did they do, Rush, coerce him into using the phrase "nappy-headed ho's"?

John Edwards returns $800 in campaign funds used for two $400 haircuts. Not something Rudy Giuliani would have to worry about.

Malakar Sanjaya voted off American Idol. So much for the end of civilization as we know it.