08/18/2010 10:50 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Aug. 16, 2010, News Update

AUG. 16, 2010, NEWS UPDATE

President Obama weighs in on controversy over building of huge Mosque/Islamic Cultural Center in Manhattan two blocks from Ground Zero. More like muddles in....Makes remarks at White House dinner for Muslims which construed as supporting building of mosque...backtracks next day to say he was merely defending Freedom of Religion. How do you say fence-straddling in Arabic?

White House spokesman Robert Gibbs had said earlier it was a local matter. Seemed like a good idea at the time. Still is.
Promoters of building mosque says it's to "promote cross-cultural understanding between the West and Islam." Would it be unreasonable to suggest that best way to promote understanding between the West and Islam would be for Muslim promoters to recognize gross insensitivity of their plans and withdraw them?

Some critics, like NeoCons and Jewish lobby, suggest promoters' real purpose is to create controversy which will diminish America's standing in Muslim world...Too cynical?

Memo to NY AG Andrew Cuomo: Now that Obama has weighed in, how about investigating where the $20 million for building mosque will come from? Maybe they can apply for stimulus grant...

Memo to would-be builders: Forget about that "understanding" crap. Promote it as providing jobs for New Yorkers.

How about this? Build huge Mosque/Islamic Center, shut down Guantanamo and house Guantanamo prisoners there? Also hold trials for Guantanamo prisoners there?

President Obama finally accepts Michelle's invitation to vacation on the Gulf Coast, swims in Gulf waters (or close enough), White House releases picture of him with Sasha. Earns plaudits from Gulf Coasters...but birthers challenge veracity of photo...say Obama can't swim.

Michelle Obama's popularity rating drops from 64% to 50% after she's seen swimming off Coast of Spain during luxurious vacation. Hey, Michelle, PR begins at home. At same time, online poll shows 72% believe she should continue high-living vacations to promote positive living and dream of American prosperity. Way to go, Spanish Tourism Agency.

Back to Gibbs: He blasts liberal activists as "professional left" for their criticism of President Obama. Would somebody please remind Mr. Gibbs there's an election this November and another one in 2012?

Jet Blue flight attendant Steven Slater curses out abusive passenger, grabs a couple of beers, activates emergency exit chute and slides into folk heroism. Reportedly offered job as host of reality show. To be titled "Take this job and slide it!"?

Donald Trump blasts Slater as "wacko" whose behavior was "despicable." That should really enhance his status as folk hero. Not too smart, Trumpster. You should have invited him onto your smarmy TV show. Might class it up as well as improve ratings.

BP finally caps oil gusher in Gulf of Mexico. Now is there any way to cap gushing of BP commercials on TV telling us it won't cost American taxpayers one penny? Except for the billions in tax write-offs.

Beleaguered NY Congressman Charles Rangel delivers "I am not a crook" speech in House. Hey, Charlie, last guy who tried that resigned. (For the historically-challenged, that was Richard Nixon).

Beleaguered California Congresswoman Maxine Waters also delivers "I am not a crook" defense at news conference. Ditto.

Pundidiots wrong as usual in dire predictions for Democrats in primary elections. Take them seriously at your own risk for November elections.

In Connecticut, former WWE executive Linda McMahon defeats rival for Republican Senate nomination with new wrestling move known as $22 million body-slam.

Pakistanis lambaste government for poor response to devastating floods. Russians lambaste government for poor response to wildfires. Americans lambaste government for poor performance on jobs front. Incumbents in trouble all over the world...Except Rwanda. President Kagane re-elected with 93% of vote. Amazing, isn't it, how so many African leaders win landslide victories? Could it have something to do with fact that three potential candidates not allowed to register, two were arrested and another fled the country? Naaah. It was just democracy in action.

Sports Update: (If you're not a golf fan, skip the following):

Martin Kaymer wins PGA golf championship. Martin who? Some German dude. Guy from Bagdad finishes second, guy named Bubba Watson. Bubba from Bagdad? That's Bagdad, Florida...heh, heh, heh. Dustin Johnson (who?) misses makeable putt on 18th green which seemingly would have won tournament, but apparently setting up three-man play-off instead. But...Johnson given very controversial two-stroke penalty for grounding club in bunker which didn't look like bunker...misses play-off. Only consolation was that it was best missed putt ever.

PGA should also penalize Whistling Straits golf course by never having another championship there because it doesn't know a bunker from a dogleg.

Tournament held in Michigan, Tiger Woods finished in Minnesota. Obviously not the Year of the Tiger.

NBA bars New York Knicks from rehiring Isaiah Thomas as consultant. Must have read New York Daily News headline saying "Are They Nuts?"