09/01/2010 02:21 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Aug. 30, 2010, News Update

AUG. 30, 2010, NEWS UPDATE

Glenn Beck (You know who he is) leads "Restoring Honor to America" rally in nation's capitol, implores crowd to "bring God back to America. Mr. Beck, where was God on 9/11? Where was God during Katrina? Better we should bring the troops back to America from Iraq and Afghanistan.

Rally held on steps of Lincoln Memorial on anniversary of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech. Beck delivers "I Have Extreme" speech, envisioning an America where people are not judged by the color of their skin but by the character of their right-wing ideology.

While Beck speaking, CNN shows on-screen caption identifying him as Sara (sic) Palin, former Republican presidental candidate (sic). Three mistakes in one chyron ... So much for "Most Trusted Name in News." Guess they turned weekend TV production over to interns.

Race rabble-rouser Al Sharpton stages dueling counter rally elsewhere, draws about 3,000 people (mostly black) compared to Beck rally's estimated 200,000 (mostly white). Beck and Sharpton -- they deserve each other.

Size of Beck rally crowd surprising ... More surprising: Beck was able to speak without chalkboard or diagrams...

President Obama schedules Oval Office speech to nation about end of US combat operations in Iraq. Precedes it with Rose Garden remarks on US economy ... acknowledgment of misplaced priorities?

House Minority Leader John Boehner calls on President to fire entire economic team ... And replace them with Bushies who brought country to brink of economic ruination?

Primary Elections:

Sen. John McCain moves way right and spends $20 million (!) to win GOP nomination in Arizona. If he wins, as expected, in November, which John McCain will show up in Washington-would-be consensus builder or lock-step obstructionist?

Sen. David Vitter wins Republican nomination for Senate in Louisiana ... obviously got the hooker vote.

Health care executive Rick Scott spends $40 million of own money to win Republican gubernatorial nomination in Flordia despite being forced out as CEO of HCA in Medicare fraud scandal. Maybe money can't buy happiness, but it obviously can win a GOP primary for Governor.

Billionaire Jeff Greene spends $23 million of own money in race for Democratic US Senate in Florida-but loses. See, money can't buy happiness OR a Senate nomination.

Former Republican Sen. Alan Simpson of Wyoming, co-chairman of President Obama's deficit commission, terms Social Security "milk cow with 310 million tits." What kind of country boy are you, Mr. Simpson? A milk cow has "teats," not "tits." You must be spending too much time at Hooter's. You suppose that at 78, Simpson is sucking on one of those "tits"? Wonder what his metaphor for Medicare is...

Jimmy Carter goes to North Korea to get American prisoner released. He may not have been a very good President, but he's certainly done OK as Ex-President.

Chinese traffic jam stretches for 100 miles outside of Peking, lasts 10 days. Mother of all traffic jams ... Los Angeles envious.

Chinese truckers better off than 33 Chilean miners trapped in collapsed mine.....may not be rescued until December ... Sure hope they like each other. Food and water being lowered into mine ... also lots of deodorant...

New York City approves plan to build huge office building near iconic Empire State building, whose owners complain new tower would spoil city's skyline. How about this? Build huge tower on site of proposed Mosque/Islamic Center near Ground Zero and build mosque near Empire State building. (Still just trying to be helpful here, folks).

Communist Cuba institutes some free market reforms which may pave way for major tourism developments-by companies in Canada, Europe and Asia. No companies from US, only 90 miles away? Nope. Why not? Because of monumentally stupid and outdated US Cuban policy, including meaningless economic embargo, which still held hostage by White Russian Cubans in Florida.

Fidel Castro, 84, claims Osama Bin Laden "U.S. agent." How do you say Alzheimer's in Spanish?

Researchers claim Hitler had Jewish blood. Talk about a self-hating Jew....

Rep for talk show host Larry King says King is leaving program, but not "retiring." Who does he think he is, Brett Favre?

"The Expendables," starring Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, drops to third at box office after ranking first past two weeks. Most AARP members have already seen it.

Major winner on 2010 professional gold tour already confirmed. It's Elin Woods, who got humongous divorce settlement from Tiger. She reportedly wields mean nine-iron. You suppose he can get his golf mojo back by dating again?

Star pitcher Roger Clemens indicted for perjury for allegedly lying to Congress about use of performance-enhancing drugs. Clemens was headed for Hall of Fame for throwing fast balls, now may be headed to jail for trying to pull a fast one.

New York Giant star Bobby Thomson dies....famous for hitting "shot heard round the world" in 9th inning to win pennant for Giants against Brooklyn Dodgers in 1951. Quick-------Who was Dodgers' pitcher? If you said Ralph Branca, you're right! Branca himself eventually achieved celebrity status despite being one of biggest losers in baseball history. Is this a great country or what?

Paris Hilton busted for possession of cocaine. Now conferring with Lindsay Lohan to see how to get a jail sentence shortened.