04/03/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Feb. 1, 2010 News Update

President Obama delivers first State of the Union (SOTU) speech. He says -- FLASH! BULLETIN! We interrupt this News Update to bring you breaking news. Some Republicans in the Senate actually voted Aye! They voted to confirm Ben Bernancke for another term as Chairman of the Federal Reserve, disproving the notion they had collectively forgotten how to cast a "Yes" vote. Film at 11! We now return to our regularly scheduled News Update in progress.

In his SOTU, Obama says State of the Union is "strong." Wow! Has any President said otherwise? How about Lincoln in 1863?

Speech emphasizes, "It's the economy, stupid!" Finally!

Speech also zings Republican obstructionism, Bush Administration failures, Supreme Court decision on campaign finances and TV Pundidiots.....Finally!

Republicans sit on hands during speech, with heads up their...well, you know.

Justice Alito shakes head and mouths "Not True"/when Obama blasts campaign finances decision. So, Sam, it's not your venue. If you want to express an opinion, invite Obama to appear before you in court.

Rudy Giuliani claims on TR that Obama never used word "war" in SOTU. Wrong again, just like he said no terrorist attack occurred during Bush Administration.

America's Mayor turning into America's Foremost Foot-in-Mouth or Memory-on-Hold.

President ventures into elephant's den and appears before House Republicans. Riveting TV. Like British PM's Question Period in Parliament. Again appeals for more (any?) bipartisanship. How about making this weekly or monthly event? Probably not, since Republicans came away with their tusks missing.

Republican response to Obama's SOTU cites quote from newly elected Republican Senator Scott Brown. Election 2012, here comes Brown. Are you paying attention, Sarah Palin? Brown Buzz for 2012 premature expectation? Or maybe reflection of dearth of viable GOP potentials.

Haitian President Preval criticized for silence and no public appearances after earthquake. He said he was just trying to emulate George W. Bush after 9/11.

Loopy Rep. Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann (Minn.) says she won't attend Tea Party Convention. Too looney-tunes even for her?

Somali pirates announce they'll donate some money acquired from seized ships to Haiti relief. Suppose they've hired a PR firm?

Kings of Leon win Grammy Award for "best record" of year. Who?
No, they're playing at the Super Bowl, even though none of the players is old enough to know who they are.

French display 30-meter high condom balloon to raise AIDS awareness. Not likely to appear in Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.