01/16/2006 10:21 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

News Update For Jan. 15

Alito Senate Judiciary Committee hearings conclude. World's greatest deliberative body? Or world's greatest bloviating body?

Bad news: Endless questioning. Good news: Female Senators did not have to get permission from their husbands to ask questions.

Judiciary Committee vote on Alito postponed. Highly qualified judge? Or second choice to Harriet Miers?

Bush has meeting on Iraq at White House with former Secretaries of State and Defense. Robert McNamara included, obviously to make Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld look good by comparison.

Cheney briefly hospitalized with shortness of breath. Nothing to do about shortness of compassion.

Rep. Tom DeLay not to seek Majority Leadership role. Awwwwww.

"War on Christmas" over for another year. What's really needed is war on "Xmas."

United States and Germany taking Iran to the U.N over re-opening of nuclear facilities. Ooooooo--that'll scare 'em.

Evangelist Pat Robertson says Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's stroke was God's punishment for pulling out of Gaza. When is God going to do something about Robertson?

Chinese car coming to US market. How do you say Yugo in Mandarin?

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg spent $84 million on his re-election campaign. Imagine what he might have spent if he'd had an opponent.

In Inaugural address, Bloomberg says he wants to rid the city of the scourge of illegal guns. Surprisingly, NRA has so far not said anything stupid in response.

American auto companies still struggling. Big 3 heading for the Big 11, as in Chapter?

Skier Bode Miller apologizes for talking about skiing while "wasted." What about doing interviews while wasted?

Shock jock Howard Stern leaves terrestrial radio for satellite radio. Now you gotta pay if you wanna listen to farting on air.

NFL play-offs. Anybody seen the Indianapolis Colts' offense? Anybody seen the Chicago Bears' defense?