02/14/2014 01:54 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

This Map of America's Weirdest Love Laws Will Totally Kill the Mood


Since today is national "getting freaky" day, you're probably looking to do some serious boot-knocking. Luckily we've put together this handy guide to the weirdest sex laws in America so you can focus on bumping uglies without worrying about breaking the law. Happy Valentine's Day, you dirty horn dogs.

Sorry, Pennsylvania, apparently you guys got the short stick because there will be no (legal) oral sex happening in your fine state tonight, and Montana, you guys are stuck doing it in the missionary position. Hey, Arizona, do you have more than two dildos in your home? That's a paddlin' (but you're probably into that).

So, in between exchanging flowers, chocolates, and body fluids, take a peek at our map and try to keep your freakin' on the up and up, okay, America?

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