THE BLOG
05/07/2008 12:24 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Today's Sign of the Apocalypse: Arachnophilia

My new book, Apocalypse How, is about how the world is about to end... and why we should be psyched! It's the first-ever work of apocalyptic literature that "accentuates the positive" -- and teaches you how to not just survive, but thrive. As with any exciting new endeavor, however, the key to thriving in a post-apocalyptic world is PREPARATION. In that spirit, I'll be alerting you whenever I spot a sign of our impending doom -- or should I say, your impending opportunity!

SIGN: A British contractor has been hired by the U.S. military to create an army of robot spiders.

WHY THAT'S A SIGN: What part of "army of robot spiders" did you not understand?

WHAT TO EXPECT: 6 billion people = 6 billion robot flies

WHY THAT'S GREAT NEWS: Finally a use for deadbeat boyfriends and husbands equipped with nuclear-powered "stompin' shoes." Also a last chance at salvation for robotic pigs scheduled to be slaughtered.

HOW TO PREPARE: Grab yourself a can of Raid. And a wick and lighter.

Daily Show writer Rob Kutner's Apocalypse How is available in stores May 12th, or online here.