09/06/2012 09:38 am ET Updated Nov 06, 2012

Say This and I'll Vote For You

Dear President Obama and Governor Romney:

I will vote for you, and work tirelessly in support of your campaign, if you say this:

Dear friend and fellow co-occupant of our glorious planet, and citizen of the great United States of America,

My opponent is a good man with honorable intentions. I respect him, and I encourage you to do the same. He, like us, loves his family, is devoted to a higher power, cherishes his liberties, and is a powerful advocate for democracy and the values we as Americans hold dear.

Both of us want to contribute to world peace, abundance and prosperity, and we also want to make this planet, our country, communities, culture, and families better than we found it. In fact, both my opponent and I want to make America better than ever before.

Although our ultimate goal is very similar, our ideas, plans, strategy, and tactics to deliver those results differ.

Allow me this opportunity to now discuss with you my specific, straightforward, constructive, and attainable action plan, which I, along with my team, believe will achieve measurable results in the areas of the economy, health care, our national debt, education, taxes, government reform, energy and the environment, social security, homeland security and defense, the current state of politics, immigration, woman's issues, crime and justice, campaign finance, endowments to the arts, and other important issues influencing our national, international, and global success and sustainability.

[Insert detailed and quantifiable action plan here.]

I believe the above course of action is what we, as a unified country, need to accomplish in order to reach our goal, and I'm asking for your support.

America is a great country, sharing an extraordinary planet with other great countries, and together, we can heal, grow, build and sustain a better life for our children, all humanity, and our nation. Together, we can once again be a worldwide symbol of goodness and opportunity. Let us all agree on choosing a higher road, supporting differing opinions and beliefs, and working together in understanding and unity. Let us agree to disagree, to celebrate differences, and to accept that there is so much we don't know, but that together, we will forge a path to a better future.

Take your time and learn more about how I, along with my opponent, wish to achieve our goals for an improved United States of America. Understand the divergent elements of both our plans, discuss both our approaches within your family and among your friends, and without making one candidate wrong and the other right, simply choose to vote for who you feel will better serve you as the leader of our nation, commander in chief of our military, and the chief executive of a realistic blueprint for a better tomorrow.

Then, on the morning of November 7, 2012, the day after the election, regardless who wins this race for the most humbling job in the world, the president of the United States, we will work together to heal our divisions, inspire all Americans to join together, and despite any differences, as our founding fathers wrote, "form a more perfect union."

May God bless America and all of Planet Earth.

Thank you.