04/17/2015 09:48 am ET Updated Jun 17, 2015

Alternate Titles For Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

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The Force Rubs Sleepdirt Out Of Its Eyes

The Force Scratches Its Crotch

The Force Sniffs Its Armpits

The Force Takes A Shower

The Force Changes Its Underwear

The Force Decides To Go For Brunch At The Mos Eisley Cantina

The Force Drinks Too Many "Bottomless" Frozen Margaritas

The Force Stumbles, Falls Down

The Force Picks Itself Up, Brushes Itself Off

The Force Realizes It's Lost Its Light Saber Apartment Keys

The Force Drunkenly Dials Its Ex-Girlfriend Princess Leia On Its Hologram Phone

The Force's Ex Hangs Up On It

The Force Sadly Recalls Ex's Sexy Slave Girl Costume From 'Episode VI: Return of the Jedi'

The Force Ponders What To Do Next

The Force Realizes It Has To Pee

The Force Relieves Itself In Some Gimer Bushes

The Force Is Approached By An Imperial Stormtrooper Police Officer

The Force Sobs To Imperial Stormtrooper Police Officer About Lost Apartment Keys, Ex-Girlfriend

The Force Is Busted On A Drunk And Disorderly Charge

The Force Slurs "These Are Not The Droids You Are Looking For," But The Imperial Stormtrooper Police Officer Is Not Taken In By This Jedi Mind Trick

The Force Sleeps It Off In The Death Star Brig

The Force Encounters A Wookie In The Death Star Brig And Does Some Things It'd Rather Not Talk About

The Force Resolves Not To Drink At The Mos Eisley Cantina Any More, Find A New Girlfriend, And Get More Rest