03/18/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

What It Takes to Make a Republican Mad

Last Friday, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) was on the radio, seething about the economy and noting, "I'm madder than I've ever been."

One reason he said he was so mad was because he didn't support the stimulus bill. Okay, true, he did vote to bail out America's banks -- but not its citizens! And in fairness, he's probably still really mad that just before the economy collapsed last year he famously intoned that its fundamentals were strong. So, we'll just give me a pass for making sense about the economy. Even he acknowledged it wasn't his strong suit. If he says he's the most pissed off he's ever been, that trumps all.

Mind you, one would think he'd be more angry at having had to select Sarah Palin as his running mate, especially since her whiny co-written memoirs blast his campaign for her own incompetence. And you'd think there were other things in his long life that had infuriated him the most -- but no, it's the stimulus bill. Fair enough. We'll take John McCain at his word, because he would never be disingenuous, even when upset at losing an election to That One.

But it's not just Mr. McCain's who's mad at the economy, health care, and the stimulus bill that didn't help Wall Street. As he noted, "There's not a lot of happy people out there, so you see tea parties, and you see people who are madder than they've ever been in their life."

Forgetting for a moment that there are a lot of happy people out there thrilled that Mr. McCain and Ms. Palin didn't win the election, there are, indeed, people of all stripes who are unhappy. Most of these stripes, though, are unhappy Republicans. Really unhappy Republicans. Furious Republicans. Republicans, if we are to take Sen. McCain's sharp, observational eye, who are madder than they've "ever been" in their life.

And we don't have to imagine how mad, furious, angry, unhappy, livid, incensed and pissed off they are right now. More mad than they've ever, ever been in their life. We can see that. It's blatantly clear. Because it takes A LOT to make a Republican angry, let alone that angry. So, you really notice it. After all -

Republicans weren't mad when George Bush and Dick Cheney lied America into a war against a nation that didn't attack us and didn't have any Weapons of Mass Destruction.

They weren't mad when George Bush and Dick Cheney pulled troops out of Afghanistan that was harboring the actual terrorists who did attack us.

They weren't mad at George Bush taking a budget surplus of $128 billion when he came into office and turning it into a $455 billion deficit.

They weren't mad, either, that George entered office with a national debt of $5.73 trillion and left with the national debt $10.7 trillion. A doubled increase of $5 trillion.

They at weren't mad when George Bush and the Republican Party ignored the city of New Orleans being wiped off the map.

They weren't mad when George Bush authorized warrantless wiretapping, reading private emails of American citizens and tearing down civil liberties and the Bill of Rights.

The weren't mad when George Bush described the U.S. Constitution as "just a goddammed piece of paper."

Republicans weren't mad at George Bush underfunding "No Child Left Behind." Or vetoing stem cell research.

They weren't mad when officials in Vice President Dick Cheney's office outed a CIA agent whose career expertise was fighting terrorism. Nor where they mad when George Bush ignored his word that he'd act when the perpetrators were found.

They weren't mad at George Bush politicizing the Justice Department, which targeted political opponents and fired U.S. Attorneys who wouldn't go after Democrats.

They weren't even mad when John McCain selected the most woefully unprepared Vice Presidential nominee in U.S. history, who would be a heartbeat from the Oval Office.

So, you just KNOW how utterly, hot-eyed furious Republican must be when they express their outrage at national health care!!

Republicans don't wear tea bags on their heads just for fun, y'know, or shout down disabled people at town hall meetings for the pure sport. No, they are really, really angry. At national healthcare.

Yes, we know they say they're also incensed about the national debt, though in fairness they were never remotely concerned when George Bush doubled it by $5 trillion.

And yes, they do say they're enraged by the stimulus bill, though in fairness they didn't get out their tea sets and Revolutionary War attire when the stimulus bill actually first passed during the Bush Administration.

So, it's safe to say that their real fury must be at national healthcare.

That this is what has finally driven the far-right Republican Party to finally being madder than they've ever been in their lives (!!), one can only admire their courage at finally being so noble at finally voicing such patriotic anger.

One can only admire we have Americans who have such true, heartfelt passion for their country and all its people.

One can only admire how proud the health insurance companies much be to have such loyal support.

And so Republicans are finally mad. Madder than they've ever been in their lives!!!

All it took was providing health care for all Americans.

And Barack Obama being Barack Obama. And winning

Republicans are finally mad.

America could have used you over the past eight years.

UPDATED: Correction on Sen. McCain's voting record.