As you've likely heard, Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe -- author of "The Greatest Hoax: How the Global Warming Conspiracy Threatens Your Future" -- is the Republicans' first choice to head the Senate committee that oversees the country's environmental policy. If Inhofe becomes head of Environment and Public Works Committee, I'm not sure which will be the larger irony: the fact that he considers climate change a myth or that his middle name is "Mountain." We'd likely be better off with the creators of Prius Repellent running this important climate committee.
Inhofe, after all, voted against federal disaster relief for Sandy and has compared the EPA to the Gestapo. And given the latest climate report by the United Nations, the timing could not be worse. In fact, Inhofe thinks the UN invented the idea of climate change to "shut down the machine called America."
While other Republicans are mocked for dodging the the truth about climate change -- I"m not a scientist -- Inhofe thinks the topic is a moot point. "Nobody has uttered the term 'global warming' since 2009," he says. This assertion, while intensely dumb, is actually less embarrassing than others he's made in the past. Here's a collection of his wisdom on the topic:
Don't worry about climate change, Jesus is in charge.
• God's still up there. The arrogance of people to think that we, human beings, would be able to change what He is doing in the climate is to me outrageous.
• What this country does not need is another Gestapo bureaucracy like the EPA
• It kind of reminds... I could use the Third Reich, the Big Lie. You say something over and over and over and over again, and people will believe it, and that's their strategy... A hot summer has nothing to do with global warming. Let's keep in mind it was just three weeks ago that people were saying, 'Wait a minute; it is unusually cool.'
Climate change can't be true if it costs money to fix.
• Addressing Rachel Maddow about the validity of climate science:
I was actually on your side of this issue when I was chairing that committee and I first heard about this. I thought it must be true until I found out what it cost.
Climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Weather Channel and Hollywood elites.
It's all about money. I mean, what would happen to the Weather Channel's ratings if all the sudden people weren't scared anymore?
Climate change is good for you!
The claim that global warming is caused by manmade emissions is simply untrue and not based on sound science. CO2 does not actually cause catastrophic disasters. Actually, it would be beneficial to our environment and the economy.
In fact, increased CO2 emissions will help you live longer!
First of all, the one degree Fahrenheit rise coincided with the greatest advancement of living standards, life expectancy, food production and human health in the history of our planet. So it is hard to argue that the global warming we experienced in the 20th century was somehow negative.
And never forget, science is for suckers.
With all of the hysteria, all of the fear, all of the phony science, could it be that manmade global warming is the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people? It sure sounds like it.
Of course, as Colbert points out, Inhofe wrote the book on climate change so he must be an expert. Let's go roll some coal!