05/24/2012 05:51 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

I Don't Want to Get Married

I don't want to get married. There was a time when I did, and, in fact, I was engaged to a woman. Of course, because marriage is not legal in Florida, where I live, the engagement was really only a symbolic gesture of my love and commitment to her. But, like many straight couples, we eventually broke up. I don't know that I ever was that attached to getting married. I probably did it more because she wanted it and I loved her, and, at the time, I truly did think we would be together forever. Since then I have decided I don't need a contract to declare or define my relationship. I understand and respect that others see it as more than that, but right now I am not interested. But I deserve the right to make that choice for myself and not have someone else make it for me.

I am encouraged by the recent polls and public statements supporting gay marriage, but I truly can't believe the pathetic reasons -- no, scratch that -- excuses some people make against it.

America was built on freedom from, and of, religion. You have the freedom to believe and practice any religion you chose, or to not practice one at all. If my religion states that one should not eat pork, does this mean the law should prohibit everyone from eating pork? I'm sure most would agree not! If my religion states that one should not have a blood transfusion, does that mean our laws should prohibit everyone from having blood transfusions? I think not. So, then, why, if you believe your religion states that being gay is a sin, and therefore you think gay couples should not get married, should there be laws against it? The whole point of freedom is to give people choices. We don't have to agree with the choice, but we should agree to each of us having the right to the choice.

I have heard so many anti-same-sex-marriage people say, "I support gay people having all the same rights as marriage, but just not using that word." This reason is particularly interesting, because those who feel this way can't put into words why they feel this way. I believe the only reason they have this belief is because of deep-rooted discrimination that even they don't believe in anymore.

The reason that absolutely cracks me up is that gay marriage will ruin the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman. You've got to be kidding me! Half of straight marriages end in divorce. Many who are married have cheated or are miserably unhappy. Straight people sadly have not done such a wonderful job with marriage, yet we haven't created any laws to prohibit them from continuing to ruin the sanctity of marriage, and in fact have lessened the barriers to divorce in the past several decades. All we LGBT folks want is to have the same right to commit to the person we love and have the same chance to screw it up as one man and one woman.

P.S. Thank you President Obama, Jay-Z, the NAACP, Vice-President Biden, and all those who have the ears of America and have had the guts to take a stand for what is right. Civil rights. Equal rights.

The mission of Aqua Foundation for Women is to serve as the funding catalyst for lesbian, bisexual, and transgender wellness and equality in South Florida through grants, scholarships, and initiatives. Learn more at