THE BLOG
10/20/2014 05:23 pm ET Updated Dec 19, 2014

Scriptys: The Truth Behind Binge Watching

Scriptys are a new form of comic strips without the comics, in the form of a movie scene.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

JULIE and BART are snuggling up on the couch. Wine, fancy cheese spread and grapes paint the table.

JULIE
Honey, we deserve this, right?
You don't think it's bad we told your sister we were sick?

BART
She'll get over it sweetie, they'll have another kid for sure. First birthday parties are so overblown, she won't even notice we aren't there.

JULIE
We're not bad people. I mean look at us, we waited so long to binge watch this show together. That takes dedication, you know? It's real, this is real.

CLINK glasses.

BART
I love us.

JULIE
Yesss, I love us.

They kiss. Julie picks up the remote and hits 'play'. A scene abruptly plays during a loud car chase.

JULIE
What the eff?

BART
Oh see that's weird, Netflix is bugging out.
Just click on the first episode and start from the beginning.

Julie punches the 'off' button and SLAMS the remote on the table.

JULIE
Seriously Bart?? You couldn't even sneak around with a different account?

BART
Jules I don't know what's going on OK? Just start it from the beginning.

JULIE
I waited three weeks Bart! Three long, excruciating, brutal weeks!

BART
It was just a couple of episodes OK?? Come on honey, I love you, let's just have a good night. I wanna watch it again with you.

JULIE
Can't you just watch porn like normal people??

BART
You know I get visual burn, I can't get those images out of my head, it's my OCD or whatever.

JULIE
Well fine. We'll watch, but I get to tea bag you the whole time.

BART
Are you sure you know what that is?

JULIE
A massage then. But like, the whole time. And you can't say a word, or react or anything. Not even a gasp or head nod, I wanna be totally surprised.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT - LATER

Bart is working hard, massaging Julie's arms. Julie's hair is loose, they're both engrossed in the show.

BART
Oh my god, is he gonna eat his face? Ah! Visual burn! I can't watch this, let me know when it's done.

Bart turns his head and winces.

JULIE
Honey relax, he's not gonna eat his face, just watch.

Pause. Julie's eyes dart around. Bart's stare burns through her.

BART
You back-stabbing, heartless monster! I didn't even get that far!

JULIE
Honey I'm sorry, I'll make it up you, I swear!

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT - LATER

Completely dark.

JULIE
(muffled voice)
Oh OK, so this is tea bagging, I get it.