THE BLOG
11/23/2014 10:10 am ET Updated Jan 23, 2015

Retire! Dance! Die! But First, Pass the Chocolate. Boomers According to Google

Born in 1954, I identify as a Baby Boomer. But what does that mean, really? Who exactly are we Boomers? And how does the world see us? I decided to perform a quick Google Search and find out.

I typed in the phrase "Boomers Are..."

Here's what I got:

The most selfish generation ever.
Retiring.
Reluctant to retire.
Flocking to cities.
Evil.
Doomed.
More likely to succeed as entrepreneurs.
An important target market.
Broke.

Sensing that I didn't yet have the complete picture, I decided to fine tune my results by Google-searching a few more Boomer-related questions and statements:

"Boomers Need to..."

Live to 100.
Get over yesterday.
Consider downsizing.
Worry about the health hazards they grew up with.
Consider the shingles vaccine
Get tested for Hepatitis C
Retire.
Die.

"Why Do Boomers..."

Plan to work longer?
Wear Blue Jeans?
Hate Millennials?
Have Hepatitis C?
Love baseball?

"Baby Boomers..."

Want to be young
Want to look younger
Suck.

"All Baby Boomers..."

Should be tested for Hepatitis C
Suck.

Boomers rarely...

Stop nurturing their children.

"Baby Boomers enjoy..."

Hair products.
Chocolate.
The ride

"Baby Boomers can..."

Be ignored.
Get pregnant.
Dance.
Afford to retire.

"Baby Boomers remain..."

In the workforce
Skeptical of the establishment
Relevant.

"Baby Boomers never..."

Say never.
Retire.
Grow up.
Had it so good

So who are we? We can dance! We can retire! (Unless we're broke.) We can move to the city and downsize! We never grew up but we nurture our kids. We're not young, but we want to look young. And we really should get vaccinated for Hep C.

Is any of this accurate? Who knows? If you want to discuss it, you can find me at the ballpark. I'll be the youthful-looking, semi-retired 60-year-old offering the Millennial sitting next to me a chocolate chip cookie and telling him to get over himself.

(First published by WomensVoicesForChange.)