10/02/2006 11:56 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Mark and Mel, The "I Have A Drinking Problem" Defense Doesn't Wash

Now it turns out that disgraced former Congressman Mark Foley- who has expressed the hots for male Congressional pages- is entering alcohol rehab.

And one Mel Gibson, he of the anti-Semitic rants and anti-Semitic movies, is also seeking treatment for a drinking problem.

I could call the roll of public and private sector crooks who have also used this "I was drunk" defense to assert they weren't fully in control of themselves when they commited their transgressions.

I have news for you, Mark, Mel, and the others. Alcohol only accentuates your natural tendencies. So don't blame the sauce on the fact that you've made an ass of yourself in your public life.

Instead, admit your core problem. Maybe, Mark, your problem has been that you were living a lie, and by virtue of your stance on public issues, you were living the life of a hypocrite as well. There's nothing wrong with being gay.
But alcohol is no excuse. I mean, although I don't drink much, as a heterosexual male I've had a wine buzz and then have had online flights of fancy about women real or imagined. But I have come to learn that alcohol was just a vehicle, not the cause.

Mark, if you want to find a role model for how you should have handled yourself, look at your former Congressional colleague Barney Frank. He's out, proud, and not conflicted. Or drunk.

And Mel, few are saying you don't have a right to make the kind of movies you do. But I have a feeling your thoughts about Jews were probably learned at an early age from your Dad. It seems you have not been all that inclined to receive information that would contravene those views.

What's alcohol got to do with it? What's a booze buzz but a second-hand emotion?