08/15/2012 03:19 pm ET Updated Oct 14, 2012

On Friendship


Friendship continues to take so many forms that I cannot describe it in general.
What I do know is that "friendship" with both men and women in my life has some essential qualities.

       We veer away from them. We check them out when we sense them. We are sure to ask questions rather than assume.  We examine ourselves about our assumptions.

       These are more in the form of mutual respect. What are we able to do/not able to do with/for each other. There is space and time. We call when we wish and that's OK. Each relationship is unique in its rhythm and percussion of contact. There is acceptance of that and understanding.

       Acceptance of the other as they are. With some we can go deeper. With others we can't. My favorites are those with whom I can.

Mutual Wish to Grow and Share our Truth
This seems to bind the best of friendships.

Mutual Respect
An understanding that everyone has their own complex lives.

...of each other's company, whenever that might occur.

       We help each other by being there to support one another and by loving and listening. Sometimes it comes in the form of a gift. Sometimes it's a loan. Never with strings attached of any kind, nor "interest." It is based on trust and giving.  t's a spirit of generosity and true caring for the other's well-being.

Each friendship involves some form of love and those forms area unique to the particular friendship. Each important "relationship" of any form needs a basis in friendship.


Friendships have unique rhythms, roles, intensity, and lifespans.

Some wither away sadly,
some gladly.

Some last and change all the time.
Some are steady and lodged in the heart rather than in time spent. Some are lasting and close with rare contact.
Some last and don't change very much.

There are no rules or plans.
It is an organic process.
What works works.

For both/each.

For sure it must be mutual and respectful.