Sarah Palin -- You think I sound goofy? Like the dog? Then you're a bad American.
Chris Christie -- Yeah, I'm running; you got a problem with that?
Mike Huckabee -- Fatter than Jeb, thinner than Christie.
Ben Carson -- If Herman Cain can do it -- never mind.
Michelle Bachmann -- Just for laughs.
Rand Paul -- Pot yes, healthcare no.
Donald Trump -- April fool!
Mitt Romney -- The GOP's Adlai Stevenson
Marco Rubio -- President? No sweat!
Lindsey Graham -- The closeted voter's choice.