09/06/2008 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011


Dick Cheney may not attend the GOP convention. His poll numbers are just below anthrax, and unless you are an NRA member who has to drink heavily so that you can hunt senior citizen quail, you agree with John McCain: he doesn't want Cheney nearby either.

Except for Spiro Agnew, the veep who had to leave early, I can't remember a second in command who was this unpopular. In fact, Agnew was actually more popular than Cheney, probably because he didn't look like he was about to rip off a major artery from its moorings, or as I refer to it, Cheney's happy face.

The reason -- the main reason -- that Cheney is so unpopular is never really discussed in the media. Most people think it is because he is a war hawk. That it isn't it, since hawks are held in contempt, not hated. The reason Cheney is hated is because people think he is a thief, a soulless thief. People think Cheney has looked the other way as coffins are unloaded from Iraq as his former businesses rake in tons of uncontested dough.

The Democrats should be praying Cheney will show up, not only show up but make a speech. It could be his "Pat Buchanan in '92" kind of speech, telling people exactly what he believes,and in the process handing the election to the opponent.

It is hard to imagine a man who could be as evil as Cheney. Nixon was mean, but Nixon didn't ask for five military deferments, in fact he served. Clinton was conniving, but his fees for speeches weren't made at the expense of our fighting forces. LBJ cursed, but there is no record of an expletive uttered at an adversary followed by the revelation he was glad people knew he said it.

Yeah, if McCain is smart he will provide Cheney and the Mrs. a trip to the equator during the nominating process. It is hot as hell there, so he should feel at home.