Cheating is always an interesting relationship topic. Most people will publicly say that it's despicable, they would never do it, and they fully don't approve, but what do they really think about it? And how many of those "I would never do it" people have actually done it? I spent some time talking to people around town and here are the top 10 things people really think about cheating (besides the obvious):
1. They would overlook cheating if it was sex without intimacy, meaning no oral sex, no french kissing, no verbal interaction and no romance.
2. If they cheat with a stranger and it is just sex with no attachment, it is not really cheating.
3. If they have discussed the definition of cheating with their spouse beforehand and both people adhere to "the rules," then it is not really cheating.
4. As long as it's just one time with the same person and never again, then there will be no lingering connections or feelings and then this is not really cheating.
5. If each spouse gave the other a "hall pass" to go do it and they both take advantage of that hall pass, it's not really cheating.
6. If it's with a prostitute or call-girl so it's more like a business transaction, then it's not really cheating.
7. Only emotional cheating is real cheating because there is an emotional connection with the other person, hence a real relationship.
8. A threesome is not cheating as long as their significant other is participating.
9. Oral sex isn't really cheating and only intercourse really counts.
10. Swinging is not cheating because they keep it "in the family" and only bring others in as a fun distraction.
I know, I know... some of these definitions are out there, right? Whatever happened to just thinking that cheating is wrong; plain and simple, regardless of all the rationalizations?
What do you think?
Samantha Daniels is a well-known professional matchmaker and relationship expert. She is the President of Samantha's Table Matchmaking, a bicoastal matchmaking service which caters exclusively to busy, successful professionals who have no trouble getting dates, but who have yet to find that one person with whom to spend the rest of their lives. She is also the author of "Matchbook: The Diary of a Modern Day Matchmaker" (Simon & Schuster). You can follow her on Twitter @Matchmakersd. You can also follow her on her Curator page on OpenSky, where you can get advice and picks for shopping from Celebrities.