THE BLOG
11/05/2014 12:43 pm ET Updated Jan 05, 2015

Dying With Dignity or Assisted Suicide

I did not read any interviews, nor did I read posts. I only heard snippets here and there. I did see her beautiful face on the cover of the People magazine as I was checking out at my local grocery store. I did not purchase the magazine. To be honest, when I saw the magazine I thought to myself, I see so many fighting for every breath they take -- where's their cover?

I will not speak poorly of Brittany Maynard, as I have heard she is now gone. Leaving behind family and friends who loved her a great deal. I can only imagine all the controversy surrounding her death adds pain to the loss they feel. Another precious life taken due to cancer. It is such tragedy, no matter what side you fall on. This beautiful life, she only got to live for a blink of time. She never experienced the gift of motherhood, missed out on so much we all take for granted. So many of the things I am fighting for, she would never get to experience. Cancer is so cruel.

I have seen many die with dignity in this disease. There is nothing undignified about dying without hair or so swollen you're hardly unrecognizable. There is nothing undignified about urinating on yourself and your loved ones having to clean you up. There is nothing undignified about becoming paralyzed due to the brain cancer, needing your fiancé to fight for an hour to get you out of the shower that you had fallen in. There is nothing undignified about losing your mind due to the disease and being "ugly" to those who love you the most. Yes, unfortunately I have known too many to die from this brain cancer, and it is horrible, but for each of the lives lost I can say, they died with dignity.

No pain is spared to those left behind because you take your life.

I'm not here to debate this; there has been enough media surrounding this topic. Of course, I have opinions and judgements about her decision to end her life. Others will argue she didn't chose terminal cancer. Neither did I.

I did not choose to get terminal cancer, but I am choosing to fight terminal cancer. I am not choosing to die with dignity, I am choosing to live with dignity. I am choosing not to give up but fight for a cure. I am choosing to take each second I get to live, love and make a difference. It is not easy; it is so hard. I don't know how things will end, but as long as I can still take a breath I will still breathe! If this disease is what takes my life, one thing with be for certain, I will have died with dignity!

To me, dying with dignity is living with dignity until you pass. There is no thin line in my mind when it comes to ending your life. I hear others say, "I can understand why someone would choose to do that." But I do not. I only feel heartache for someone feeling like assisted suicide is their best option. I do have terminal cancer, but I am not waiting to die. I am living.