07/02/2013 12:43 pm ET Updated Feb 02, 2016

Wedding Vendors and Gay Money

Maybe some of you saw my last HuffPost blog post, in which I lamented about the difficulties that arise when you're trying to plan a wedding around Prop 8. Our wedding had been on hold until June 26, when we heard the monumental news, the life-changing victory for all gays and lesbians in California, and hopefully nationwide very soon. This is not a political post. Not really. It's more of a wedding post, but since it's going to be a lesbian wedding, it is undeniably a political post.

If you don't believe that, let me tell you about an email I got the day after the rulings came down. It was just another press release, like the 30 or so I get every single day from random companies wanting me to promote them. But this one caught my eye because it was a gay business. OK. So I read past the first line. It was a security company. Wait. What? A gay security company? Not exactly. It was a brand-new company that had sprung into existence upon the passage of gay marriage, to protect gays and lesbians from being attacked at their own weddings.


The fact that this is a valid possibility, so much so that a new industry is about to be born around it, makes me think that for our upcoming nuptials, aside from the fact that maybe I should now worry about security, whom I give my money to really matters.

I was just sitting here, looking for a caterer and lighting specialist, etc., when I started to think to myself, "I don't want to give anyone money for a lesbian wedding if they weren't 100-percent for marriage equality! There were plenty of vendors who made the news in the last few years for refusing the business of same-sex couples. So now that marriage equality is here, are we just going to go give them our money? I think not."

Which brings me to this post. We're trying to have our wedding this October, but anything could happen, and it might be sooner than we expect, or a little later. We are waiting on literally one more piece of vital information (family-related) before we can nail down a date. But it's going to be out of town, and I need to start getting estimates from vendors. Four months is not a lot of time to make a destination wedding happen.

But it's taking even longer because I find myself vetting the vendor list. I am literally cyber-stalking them for any hint of homophobia. (I'm sorry to say this, but if I see that they mention God or Jesus or their church anywhere in their website, they are blacklisted from my list. Yes, I realize that not all Christians are anti-gay, but let's not get into that now.) Even better, any obvious signs of gayness works in their favor, of course.

So for all my fellow love birds out there planning the day of your dreams, I ask you to take a minute and think about whom you're hiring and what they've stood for before your money was legally acceptable.