10/23/2010 06:02 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

NFL Week 7 - Tweet Dreams

Hypothetical tweets from real NFL figures!

@AntonioGates85 Hey Shawne Merriman, sorry to hear you're leaving - Junior Seau said he'd be here in 5 minutes to pick you up. #dontgetin #demolitionderby

@terrellowens How much longer until the game starts? #toolatetotweet

@MilesAustinIII @marccolombo - when we score our first TD this week, let's see you leapfrog Roy Williams! #jerryjonesjump #stupidityknowsnobounds

@kennyphillips21 @JasonWitten, our new stadium might not be as nice as yours, but our team is a heck of a lot better than yours. #nosuperbowlforyou

@MrArmstrong13 (Anthony Armstrong) @thecooleyzone's concussion was so severe that he sent me iPhone pics of Brett Favre's junk. #wrongnumber

@deseanjackson10 It doesn't matter who plays QB for us - we're thinking of starting Mike Kafka against the Titans this weekend. #hittoohard

@JayCutler6 Mike Martz must be giving each of our offensive linemen $100 every time I get sacked. #veryoffensiveline

@AdrianPeterson Brett, put down the phone and lose the lawyers - we're playing the Packers this week! #preoccupied

@jschwartzlions (Jim Schwartz) So, who's playing QB for us next week? #anybodysguess #youshouldknow

@AaronRodgers12 I heard that Mark Chmura sent Brett Favre a sympathy card. #LambeauCreep

@sj39 (Steven Jackson) We are now the odds-on favorite to win the worst division in football. #smartkidinthedumbrow

@VernonDavis85 Coach, can't you just yell at Alex Smith before the game starts so that we don't have to wait for him to play well? #reversepsychology

@PeteCarroll Okay, Marshawn - we need you to be in Beast Mode this week! #rahrah

@BeanieWells26 We're thinking of just running the Wildcat every play of the game this week. #mightbeanimprovement

@nickmangold We're spending our bye week laughing at Brett Favre and Eric Mangini. #notsofondmemories

@wilfork75 Hey Tom, quit Twitter-stalking @justinbieber - let it go! #hairtodaygonetomorrow

@DonteWhitner We're only six games into the season, and we're already playing out the string. #sadbuttrue

@RickyWilliams Has anyone seen Bill Parcells around lately? #phasedout #chickenofthesea

@MichaelOher74 We may have lost to the Patriots, but at least @justinbieber doesn't make fun of our quarterback. #smallconsolation #blindside

@tpolamalu You might not believe this, but off the field James Harrison is a very quiet, peaceful man. #yourerightwedont #psychokiller

@ChansiStuckey Has anybody responded yet to our want ad seeking wide receivers? #thanksjamesharrison

@Pat1McAfee Hey guys, it's our bye week - anyone want to go swimming? #dontdrinkanddive

Jones_Drew32 Anybody know who's playing quarterback for us this week? #toddboumanexperience

@ArianFoster @johnson80 has definitely pushed his way into the early-season MVP discussion. #offensivepassinterference

@ChrisJohnson28 Hey Kenny Britt, scoring touchdowns four games in a row isn't a license to punch someone in the face in a bar. #badmove #jackassaudition

@dmcfadden20 Sorry, you can't talk to our starting quarterback - whoever he is, he's in the trainer's room. #soareyou #walkingwounded

@jcharles25 (Jamaal Charles) None of our offensive linemen have time for Twitter - they're too busy figuring out how to open holes for me. #backtowork

@TimTebow Did you see that touchdown I scored last week? By the way, did we win the game? #noyoudidnt #firstthingsfirst