03/18/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Jeff Zucker: A Day in the Life

8:00 a.m.

Beeeeeeeep --

"Hey Matt, it's Jeff. Listen, wanted to go over the changes for the Today show we talked about. I know you're not excited about switching to a reality format and moving to 7 in the evening, but Matt, reality is the future of television -- you know that -- and 7 p.m. is when China is just waking up. It's not about us, Matt, it's about the affiliates. I mean the affiliates in China. OK, give me a call. Talk to ya."

10:00 a.m.

Beeeeeeep --

"Hi honey, it's me, Jeff. Listen, remember the words 'for the most part' I added to our wedding vows? Well, something's come up about that and we should talk. If you could give me a call. Thanks honey. Bye."

the following e-mail was sent at 16:00 GMT 01/08/2010 host-mailer --
Date: January 8, 2010

Mr. President, hey, it's about the gridlock in Congress. Been doing some reading. Turns out some interesting historical figures have had some very creative solutions to exactly this kind of problem. Did you know you can "suspend" the Constitution? Neither did I. Just looking through the text of the thing and I don't see the provision, but there must be a way to get it done. Anyway, call me, OK? Thanks -- Jeff

3:00 p.m.

Mr. Allan H. (Bud) Selig
Commissioner, Major League Baseball
245 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Dear Commissioner Selig:

It's about the game of baseball. Bottom line, it's too slow. The games are boring and always crowding the local news. We need to pick up the pace, make it more fun. I know it's America's pastime, hasn't changed in over a century, blah, blah -- but the affiliates are giving us Hell.

I'm wondering -- can we allow tackling? Make all of the umpires supermodels? What if the pitcher is allowed to throw at the batter? Maybe, you know, in certain situations, like when the game is tied, or it's late innings, or the Nielsens are tanking. The commercial breaks are fine, we can keep those. I'm thinking when it's live action.

Think about it, and give me a call at your earliest convenience.


Jeff Zucker

4:00 p.m.

Beeeeeeep --

"Conan! It's me, Jeff. Hey, Conan, listen, loved your show last night. LOVED it. Listen, Conan, you've produced a great show for years, you've always been loyal, and you totally fell for it that time we promised you the Tonight Show in 2009 if you wouldn't leave the network. Anyway, Conan. About that. It's 2010 now, so the deal's off. Oh, and also? Conan? You're fired."

In other matters, if you haven't already, please make a donation to help the people of Haiti. There are any number of worthy organizations, but for your convenience, the Doctors Without Borders page, on which you can make a donation, is here: Doctors Without Borders

If everyone who reads this gives what they can, it will make a big difference.

Thanks -- Sean