11/28/2012 06:54 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

How Do You Want to Feel?

The Dalai Lama once said, "The point of life is happiness."

In many ways, it's true. Think about it -- everything we aspire for and work toward is driven by a desire to feel a certain way.

My friend and HuffPost blogger Danielle LaPorte recently emailed me about something she was creating called "The Desire Map." As I started reading the preview copy, tears began to well up in my eyes. She said:

"Knowing how you actually want to feel is the most potent form of clarity that you can have. Generating those feelings is the most powerfully creative thing you can do with your life."

Those words moved me, because I finally understood why I'd been feeling so confused. While I'd achieved the goals I'd set for the first six months of my business, I didn't feel completely fulfilled by that success.

Now what if I were to use my feelings as the barometer for my success? Unfortunately, the way I'd been feeling the past few weeks definitely did not match up with what I really wanted.

Think about it -- our goals always change, but the feelings we most desire always stay the same.

If you ask someone how they want to feel, the common answer they will give is "happy." But I wanted to get more specific. What are the feelings that matter most to me?

Danielle calls these your "core desires." Once you identify them, you can use them to guide your choices and your life.

Here are mine:


Yes, that's my laptop. I list my four core desires there so I can refer to them as I make decisions throughout the day. (Thank you to my dear friend Nisha Moodley, who inspired me to do this)

Using my imagination, bringing forth something new into existence. Expressing myself, sharing my unique gifts and talents.

Having a clear vision and pursuing it with concentrated effort. Being in the zone, free of distraction.

Being moved by emotion and possibility. Surrounding myself with people and things of extraordinary quality.

Making empowered choices. Honoring my needs and desires over the expectations of others.

As I reflected on my list, I realized what was missing. I hadn't been feeling very creative or focused.

I'd been bogged down in the day-to-day tasks of running a business. Like the typical busy entrepreneur, I had a never-ending to-do list. In the process, I'd been neglecting the projects I was yearning to create -- ones that would energize me, challenge me, and contribute to my growth.

Now that I'm clear about where I want to go, I'm feeling both relieved and excited. I'm excited to start using my core desires as my compass to set my goals and decide what I say yes to -- in both my personal and professional life.

What about you -- how do you want to feel on a daily basis?

I encourage you to take five minutes to write out all the good feelings you can think of. Do not edit yourself! Then go back to your list and choose the four feelings that matter most to you.
What are they? You can let me know by hitting "reply."

I'd love for you to share your core desires in the comments below!

Look forward to hearing from you and wishing you the best,

P.S. If you want more, sign up here for an invite to The Desire Map Digital Launch Party.

For more by Selena Soo, click here.

For more on success and motivation, click here.