THE BLOG
10/22/2014 02:19 pm ET Updated Dec 21, 2014

Top 10 Reasons McDonalds is in Deep Trouble

McDonalds, that fast food giant that specializes in giving us both sensory ecstasy and heartburn at the same time, just announced that its earnings plummeted by 30% this last quarter! I thought the golden arches were supreme, so what gives?

Here are the Top 10 reasons why McDonalds is in some deeeeeeep fried oil:

10. People finally figured out that the Chicken McNuggets are really Cat McNuggets.
9. Its cows caught Ebola.
8. Ronald McDonald was arrested for tax evasion.
7. Its employees demanded a living wage (the nerve of those bastards!),
6. Old McDonald (the one who had a farm) sued McDonalds for trademark infringement.
5. Chipotle unveiled the Big Mexican which looks exactly like the Big Mac but with a Latin flavor.
4. Michelle Obama launched a War against Fast Food to replace the War on Drugs.
3. Bill Clinton stopped eating there.
2. Its workers all moved to Canada to work at Burger King.

...and the #1 reason that McDonalds is in trouble:

1. Netflix just launched its new TV show: Vegetables are the New Chicken.

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