11/12/2012 01:37 pm ET Updated Jan 12, 2013

The Idiots Guide to Rebooting Congress

GOP members of the Senate and the House
Democrat members of the Senate and the House
Local Fire Company
Press Corps

1 clean oil drum
1 box of easy strike matches
1 gas fireplace lighter

Step 1:
Convene all GOP Senate and House members who have signed the "Grover Norquist Pledge" on the steps of the Capitol (hey, let's face it, it'd be a great photo op). Democrat members stand behind the GOP members to show solidarity.

Step 2:
One-by-one, each GOP member who has signed the "Norquist Pledge" walks up to the oil drum, lights their "pledge" on fire and deposits it into the oil drum.

Step 3:
GOP and Democrats sign a new pledge, to work together without the puppeteering of Grover Norquist.

Step 4:
Get back to actually working for the American people who put them into office. No more whiners. No more obstructionism.

You know, when you type it all out like that, it's not exactly rocket science, is it? Hell, a 3rd grader could carry out those instructions.