09/10/2014 01:11 pm ET Updated Nov 10, 2014


There isn't a pep talk effective enough to prepare you for the divorce process or the toll it takes on you emotionally, physically and mentally.

I've heard it said, "take one day at a time." For me the thought of that was unbearable! Minute to minute was all that I could handle. Using the minute to minute theory, I had to stay in that moment. It didn't allow me to overthink my situation or obsess over any one comment or action.
There were times that I thought to myself "can I do this?" "Am I strong enough?" How am I going to get myself and my babies through this? I describe my experience much like a roller coaster ride. Every fiber of my being was screaming "Let me off!" My emotions were up and down. At times my head was spinning, and I literally felt sick to my stomach.

As time went by (it will no matter what you do) what I've learned is that you feel what you feel! There is nothing that you can do about that. What you do have control over is how you chose to react to what you feel. Allow yourself time to grieve, to hurt, scream, cry, be angry, furious whatever you feel, allow yourself to truly feel it, deal with it and LET IT GO!

Divorce is a part of your life that just sucks, but allowing yourself to stay in that frame of mind for years not only takes away from you, but away from the life you want to begin building. Thus, allowing your past to have entirely too much power over your future.

Oftentimes, we truly don't know who we are, or what we can handle until we are gut-punched by life. So, I chose to take the good, if you will, from my divorce. I leave behind a life that no longer wanted me, to discover a future wide open, full of possibilities ahead of me. I now know exactly who I am. I am someone of profound worth, love and strength!