You know that quote "if you love something, set it free?" That's ridiculous. If you love something, hold onto it, cherish it and make sure it knows you love it. With all due respect to Richard Bach, I think he had it a bit backwards. If you don't love something, set it free -- set it so free that it'll never come back. I haven't written in awhile -- I have been in a funk. Not one of those all-inclusive, I need a lot of ice cream and my friends don't even want to hangout with me anymore funk -- just a funk. I was happy, very happy actually. I have the best family, the absolute best friends, one amazing boyfriend and a job that I love. So what's wrong? My living situation was God awful.
I have always been a big fan of changing things that you're not happy with; life is way too short to hold onto boring days or damaging relationships. However, I know exactly how hard it can be to change these things. I fell into my funk about six months ago, and it is so hard to pull yourself out. What I realized I needed to do was take a step back. What do I love and what do I not? That's when I went through those categories above and realized exactly what is crushing my mood. It's very hard to have a good day and come home to a bad atmosphere and continue having a good day. To be clear, I wasn't in any physical danger coming home, it was just a lot of tension living with someone who you knew didn't exactly wish the best for you -- I'll put it that way. I literally got a stomach ache every time I drove up to my apartment. I had never felt the feeling before that I actually got physically sick because I hated the situation I was in so much. It needed to change. Waiting out my lease for another several months was not going to happen.
After a lot of drama, and a lot of money, last week, I moved out of my apartment. I knew I'd feel relieved getting out of there. But I cannot even explain to anybody exactly how I feel. I am ecstatic. I am so happy with everything and I can't believe how much of a difference one change has made. A lesson I'd like to share from this experience is if you find something in your life that you're not happy with, especially if you are physically feeling sick whenever you think of this thing -- LISTEN to yourself. Your body is smart and tells you when it needs a change! You can change anything in your life. I understand that people look at their lives and they are set and comfortable with where they are, which is great! But please, please don't think that if something in your life is hurting you, you can't change it. Because you can, you always can.
I couldn't have made this change without the help and support of my family, friends and Evan and there's no way I could ever repay them for the help and support they provided me (yes, lugging everything I own up and down several flights of stairs and listening to my funk-age rants the past few months). They say you're successful if you do something for someone who can never repay you. Well, there you go -- instant success!