Dealing With Temper Tantrums

Anger and rage can destroy a person's ambitions, potential and dreams. It can even cost their life or the life of someone dear to them. This has been proven time and time again.
05/27/2014 01:59 pm ET Updated Jul 27, 2014

Anger and rage can destroy a person's ambitions, potential and dreams. It can even cost their life or the life of someone dear to them. This has been proven time and time again.

When an individual refuses to control his or her emotions and allow feelings of animosity and hatred to erupt into violence, he or she may not only be endangering the lives of the objects of such rage, but their own success and well-being as well.

The Book of Proverbs, in the Holy Bible, instructs us not to keep company with a person given to anger and to refuse to go with a furious individual. (Proverbs 22:24-25) The reason for this is to ensure that we do not learn his ways and get a snare to our own soul. As the old adage says, "Birds of a feather, flock together." This means that the company we keep can influence us for bad or for good, depending upon what kind of character he or she possesses.

Herein is a real fundamental law of success: Hang around the kind of company that will influence and impact your life for good, and stay away from those who may impact your life for evil. Again, we are admonished to keep company with wise men, but keeping company with fools shall be destroyed. (Proverbs 13:20)

This is most certainly true when it comes to people who get angry quick and in such a manner that it drives them to take unreasonable actions of an ungodly and harmful sort. The fights and murders that are evident all around us provide sufficient proof that uncontrolled anger is a detriment to us all.

People can develop this habit of being quickly aroused in a negative manner from a variety of sources. We mentioned one before. Influence from the wrong kind of friends can cause it. Having a parent in the home of such a disposition can produce it. Being around any type of admirable character, thus possessed with rage, can cause their spirit to rub off on us, if we are not careful. Or we can learn this awful trait because of harsh treatments that we received from others who were uncaring.

If a person is beaten and bruised continually, the individual may adopt the habit of quick retaliation toward any unwanted or misconceived speech or action. Life can seem so cruel at times, that a person feels obligated to lash out in an effort to get his or her point across.

I am not giving excuses for anger. Any type of anger that results in unwarranted harm being done to another is wrong, and should not be allowed in our lives. If we intend to be successful, we must not engage in fits of rage, which can cause the death of somebody else, or maybe even our own. If we do not contain and control ourselves, we may end up in prison, away from our family and loved ones, not able to give our efforts to our God-given purpose, goals and dreams.

Here are four things to do to curb and control rage and over-powering feelings and emotions of anger:

1. Realize that resorting to unwarranted violence, is not the answer to anything. You do not need to knock anybody down, or injure them to get your point across. Control yourself. You can do it.

2. Stop and consider the results of your actions. Breathe in and breathe out. Catch your breath. Think. Is it worth it to waste your energy fighting, energy which can be used to further pursue your goals and dreams? What will the consequences of such actions be, and do you want to experience them? Take control of your emotions and make them calm down. They will obey you if you stand your ground in a forceful manner and command them to. (In counseling a young lady prone to such behavior and fits of rage, I cautioned her to tap her head lightly and say to herself, calm down, calm down. This piece of advice helped her).

3. Read a chapter from the Book of Proverbs daily. It is a proven fact that spending time in The Holy Bible on a consistent basis has the potential to change one's life for the better. Proverbs has much to say about the folly of anger and reasons to control one's temper. Moreover, it gives us instructions to live a better, more fruitful and productive, peaceful and tranquil life. So make this life-transforming Book a part of your daily routine beginning now.

4. Finally, if you need professional help and counseling, please find a godly pastor or someone engaged in a sound counseling practice to help you discover what is causing such behavior and how you can overcome it. Help is always available. We just need to be willing and avail ourselves to it.