"The past equals the future. Of course it does if you live there." Tony Robbins' Ted Talk Why we do what we do
That's where I was living, in the past. And Tony Robbins made that very clear to me from the first day at his "Unleash the Power Within" event. The more I immersed myself in the seminar the more I found out about myself, and the more I followed his instructions and participated in the exercise, the more I was able to change my limiting beliefs.
I was there to find out more about Tony Robbins, as Tony was highly recommended by so many of my fellow Dale Carnegie trainers. But it ended up being the most personal and intimate shift of my life.
When I woke up on February 23rd 2008 I didn't know that that was the day that would change the rest of my life, both privately and professionally.
Prior to that day I was a successful CEO and an MBA graduate with a set path in my life, in my career. My love life was a disaster as my former boyfriend had cheated and lied to me for half of our relationship, so after that devastating breakup I decided that all men are cheaters and focused on my career.
This belief was so strong that I couldn't settle into a new relationship. I didn't know it then, but it was taking a toll on the rest of my life as well. Tony's event made me look at my life as a whole. Professional or personal, it was still MY life.
On the second day of the event, Tony Robbins inquired "Did I want to be alone for the rest of my live? Or did I want a partner in my life?" It was a direct hit into the center of my being. That's when I knew I had to mend my wounded heart.
Tony Robbins asked if our current belief was holding us back from achieving our dreams. My answer was yes, I knew it was. He asked us how would we feel in 5 years, 10 years and 20 years if we didn't change our belief. I felt horrible. And the rest of the room, 8000 people felt horrible too, about their limiting beliefs. People started to cry, scream and shout. I realized that even if I had a hard time getting rid of my limiting belief I had to. I just had to change.
I decided then and there to change my belief. I reframed my belief in a more hopeful one; not all men are cheaters even though some are. This was huge for me, after 5 years of holding on to that belief.
Being vulnerable and open about my limiting beliefs and the stories behind them with the stranger who was sitting next to me, and allowing him to do the same with me, per one of Tony's exercises, not only shed light on where I was stuck, but also, unknowingly laid the strong foundation of the love and commitment we now share in our marriage. To each other. Yes, I fell in love with the guy sitting next to me at Tony Robbins and we got married four years later.
I share details on how we met and how our relationship evolved into marriage in my blog post How Tony Robbins helped me find true love and passion
At the "Unleash the Power Within" event, Tony Robbins asked us to write down our ideal life and everything it entails; including our partner in life. I wrote down how I envisioned the man of my dreams. A soulmate, lover and best friend, with shared values and beliefs and utterly romantic.
I shared everything with the man next to me, not knowing that, this man would later become my husband.
Those four days for life changing for both of us and taught us how to redesign our lives the way we always envisioned them to be.
Six Human Needs and how they shape your life
Tony Robbins talks about the six human needs that we have:
- Certainty - to avoid pain and be comfortable, be in control.
- Variety - too much certainty can lead to boredom. We like to taste life.
- Significance - need to feel special and unique.
- Love & Connection - "We all want it; most settle for connection, love's too scary." Tony Robbins
- Growth - personal and professional. We learn and grow all our lives.
- Contribution - you learn and grow so you can contribute to the society.
There will always be one of these needs that drives us the most.
At the event we had to honestly pinpoint which one of these needs was at that time driving us. I was sad to realize that I was driven by significance. I didn't want that but everything in my life was about significance. I decided then and there to change this and for the rest of my life I wanted to be driven by connection and love. It was like flipping a switch, I could feel that love was number one in my life.
Did the handsome guy next to me influenced my decision, with his kindness, openness, complete honesty and transparency? Not consciously.
Now my business is about turning passions into profits by thinking big and taking action. The foundation of it is based in my new core need for love and connection and it has done wonders for my life personally & professionally and my clients' lives too.
This event ignited my soul, fire and passion and I'm ready to pay it forward by helping you find your passion. Sign up for the free video series 7 Steps to Find Your Passion & Business Idea.