After Fox News' refusal to remove anchor Megyn Kelly from the Thursday Presidential debate, GOP frontrunner Donald Trump ran all the way home crying and locked himself in his room, which he has refused to leave. According to eyewitnesses, Trump yelled "It's not fair! It's not fair! It's not fair!" and beat his fists on the ground when he learned of Fox's position. This was followed by Republican candidates Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, and Rand Paul pointing at Trump and shouting, "Donald's scared of a girl!" while Trump replied, "Am not!" and the others retorted, "Are, too! Are, too!"
Friends and family have been trying to lure Trump out of his room with cookies and milk, but to no avail; his wife Melania commented, "He's very sensitive and just needs some quiet time." While in his room, Donald Trump held his own very special "debate" in which the only rule was: "no girls allowed, especially Megyn Kelly." The following is a transcript of that debate:
Donald Trump: Hi, Donald! You sure are a handsome man!
Donald Trump #2: Hi! Thanks!
Donald Trump: How are you feeling?
Donald Trump #2: I'm fine because that stupid Megyn Kelly isn't here!
Donald Trump: She is stupid, isn't she?
Donald Trump #2: Really stupid!
Donald Trump: How stupid is she?
Donald Trump #2: She's stupid times infinity! She thinks she's so big, but she's just a poopyhead! And she smells funny!
Donald Trump: She does smell funny. You know, Donald--you're so smart and tough and everyone loves you. Everyone should be nice to you and you should be able to do whatever you want.
Donald Trump #2: That would be super!
Donald Trump: In fact, you should be President of the United States.
Donald Trump #2: I should be! Then I'll show them all. Especially stupid Megyn Kelly!
Donald Trump: I agree. Gosh, if I wasn't you, I would so vote for you.
Donald Trump #2: You promise?
Donald Trump: Swear to two Corinthians!
In a tweet, Donald Trump declared himself the winner of the debate and, thus, automatic President of the United States and the Universe times infinity.
Support HuffPost
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.
