05/27/2014 03:14 pm ET Updated Jul 27, 2014

White House Accidentally Leaks Series Finale of Mad Men

The White House accidentally revealed the long-awaited series finale of the popular TV show Mad Men. "An early screener of the episode was downloaded for some staff members and, unfortunately, it got sent to about 6,000 journalists while President Obama was visiting Afghanistan," said Fuck-Up Apologist Czar Emily Oliphar. "We were supposed to send a list of top secret CIA operatives, their home phone numbers, personal journals, and hopes and dreams, but this happened instead. Our bad."

Fans of Mad Men were outraged to learn prematurely that the series ends with the long-tormented Don Draper (Jon Hamm) committing suicide by jumping off of a building. "Come on, people -- like you didn't see it coming?" asked Oliphar. "The opening credits have been foreshadowing this since the show began. Deal with it! I mean... our sincerest apologies." The paragraph you just read may have contained a spoiler. **

** I don't really know how Mad Men is going to end. If it does end with Don Draper committing suicide by jumping off a building, don't blame me. I'm just guessing. I haven't watched the show in years.