02/28/2013 05:09 pm ET Updated Apr 30, 2013

White House Apologizes for Putting Horse's Head in Bob Woodward's Bed

The White House is apologizing to reporter Bob Woodward following his discovery of a severed horse head in his bed at home. The head contained a note on White House stationery which reads, in total:

"You, Bob Woodward, will deeply and eternally regret what you wrote about the president. Do you understand? Signed, some important people at the White House."

White House spokesman Ronald Gilliott commented, "How Mr. Woodward interprets a bloody horse head and that note as a threat is beyond me."

The horse head is considered by many political insiders to be a response from the Obama administration to Woodward's Washington Post column which was critical about the president's March 1 sequester deadline. "This is absolutely untrue," said Gilliott. "Our staff members have been decapitating horses, breaking into reporters' homes, and putting the horse heads into their beds for years. It's all part of our wonderful, transparent relationship with the press. Woodward is a journalist. He should know this."

To show there are no hard feelings, Gilliott is happy to make amends. "We'd love for Mr. Woodward to sit down and have a chat to clear the air. Just take the Long Beach Causeway. We'll meet him at the toll booth."