We just couldn't get away from Sarah Palin this past year. After the launch of her book (which, thanks to the Tea Party people, became a bestseller), we were forced to endure all Sarah Palin all the time on her media tour. The more I saw her on Oprah and Barbara and Fox and Facebook, I realized that she had become 2009's Paris Hilton of politics. In fact, Sarah Palin had succeeded in knocking Paris off her media pedestal. No longer were we being bombarded with images of a blond Hollywood wannabe with designer sunglasses and a limited vocabulary. This past year Sarah had replaced Paris as the Belt-way wannabe with designer reading glasses and a limited vocabulary.
So, in honor of the New Year, I decided to put together a list to prove my point that in a year where 40 was the new 30, and gray was the new black, Sarah Palin was the new Paris Hilton. You may be shocked, or not at all, how much these two glamorous media mavens have in common:
1. Talent.
Both Paris Hilton and Sarah Palin have great packaging, but no talent in their given professions. Whatsoever.
2. Fundraising.
Both girls are great at working a crowd. Sarah hosted fundraisers, getting voters to boost her from small-town mayor to first-term governor with nothing to offer. Paris hosted birthday parties, getting Las Vegas club owners to pay her tens of thousands of dollars to make appearances with nothing to offer.
3. Erudition.
Sarah Palin can't remember what magazines and newspapers she reads.
Paris Hilton can't remember how to read.
4. Follow Through.
Sarah Palin resigned as governor of Alaska halfway through her term to pursue a "higher calling."
Paris Hilton resigned as a star of The Simple Life also to pursue a "higher calling" -- a Carl's Jr. hamburger commercial.
5. Views on Sex.
Sarah Palin's almost son-in-law Levi Johnston posed naked for a Playgirl spread that Sarah labeled "porn".
Paris Hilton posed naked in a sex video that was porn.
6. Political Connection.
John McCain compared Barak Obama to Paris Hilton, a "celebrity" unfit to lead America.
Sarah Palin is a celebrity unfit to lead America.
Please, please, dear media, for 2010 ... spare us. No more Sarah Palin. At this point, Paris Hilton is beginning to look good.
Stacy Schneider is the author of He Had It Coming: How To Outsmart Your Husband and Win Your Divorce and provides legal commentary for CNN and Fox News.