THE BLOG
03/28/2008 02:48 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Spitzer: A Final Quiz

1. When I heard that Eliot Spitzer had resigned, I felt...

a) Happy, because one more scoundrel had got what was coming to him.
b) Sad, because this society should be more forgiving of flawed humanity.
c) Disappointed, because I wanted the story to go on for a while!

2. Several tabloid newspapers took a very harsh tone with the moral outrage perpetrated on our civilization by this supposed paradigm of virtue (Mr. Spitzer), while at the same time displaying multiple pictures of sexy women in skimpy bathing suits ostensibly associated with this affair. I find this phenomenon...

a) Disgusting and every bit as hypocritical as Mr. Spitzer.
b) Sad but not very surprising. Isn't that how they sell papers?
c) Really cool. I'm just sorry that it may be over now. I hope they find client #8 and show all his special friends too!

3. Which is the worst...

a) Having sex with prostitutes.
b) Lying about secret intelligence in order to justify a war.
c) Over-enforcement of Sarbanes-Oxley regulations.

4. Which political or business leader is the LEAST morally reprehensible?

a) Vlad Putin
b) Vlad the Impaler
c) Eliot Spitzer, although not recently

5. Thomas Jefferson is now known to have had sex with Sally Hemmings, a woman who was not his wife, and she in fact bore him at least one and maybe more children. There is no evidence that public funds were involved, but there might have been. If you were alive during the early 19th Century, and had been made aware of that situation, would you have called for Mr. Jefferson's resignation?

a) Yes, we should all live under one standard and obey the moral and legal laws.
b) No, Jefferson was pretty terrific and where would America have been without him?
c) Really? Were there pictures?

6. John F. Kennedy was a beloved young President but also known to be something of a sex addict who never passed a closet without shoving a chambermaid into it. Perhaps that's an exaggeration, but his liaison with Marilyn Monroe is now pretty well documented, if you believe that kind of thing, as was his constant, incessant philandering.

Actually, he had so much going on in this regard that he made Eliot Spitzer look like Mother Theresa, and by that we mean no disrespect to Mother Theresa at all, it's just a comparison. At the same time, the news media knew all about this stuff but disregarded it, that being the standard of the day. Should the media at that time have reported on what they knew? And should JFK then been forced to resign?

a) Yes, definitely. What a cad! Why did Jackie even stick around?
b) What, and miss the Bay of Pigs?
c) Man, this is getting better and better!

7. Other great leaders of the 20th Century who had long-standing lovers known to journalists but unknown to the public (and perhaps their spouses) include Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Dwight D. Eisenhower. If they had lived during this time in history, they would undoubtedly have been exposed and held up to public censure. Should they have resigned?

a. Yes. They all should resign. All people in public life who are caught doing illegal, nasty things should resign. It's pretty simple. Why are you perseverating on this? Shut up!
b. Obviously not. What would our world be like right now if Eisenhower and FDR hadn't steered us through WW II. Who cares who they were screwing around with?
c. I should get out more.

8. Are there things in your life that you hope nobody ever finds out about, actions you have taken of which you are not proud?

a) No. I always do the right thing and expect others to do the same, within reason.
b) Of course there are. And given the way the media now works, those things make me unsuitable for public office.
c) You mean right now?

9. If you were caught in the spotlight and shown to have a problem with drugs, sex, alcohol, finances, etc., you would...

a) Resign my position and apologize to everybody, forever.
b) Explain myself as best as I could to those whose trust I abused, then try to keep my life together as much as possible, including my family and my job, in that order.
c) Go to rehab. Everybody forgives anybody who goes to rehab. If Spitzer had gone into rehab immediately he would probably still be Governor.

Scoring: You can score if you want. Just don't get caught.

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