It was only several weeks ago that I left to embark on a new path in my life, only to face my readers here and tell you that the path has changed as I sit writing this article on my flight back home to Hawai`i. I left for Vietnam in the most idealist state of mind. I wanted to be in a beautiful country, alone with just my laptop. I wanted to finish my novel and more importantly, I wanted to live a new life so that I would know what direction to take the novel.
After I wrote the last piece about traveling the world and how it has its downsides, I was left thinking.
Why am I alone?
If everything we are and everything we live through is a choice and nothing is circumstantial, then why am I choosing to be alone? Is that truly what I am asking Spirit to give me? Alone time? No one is ever a victim to their circumstances, and I wasn't going to take this moment to change those rules and cry out to Spirit as if Spirit had forgotten me. No, this was my own doing. I stated in the last article that it wasn't that I didn't want the relationship, it was that I wanted something more. I wanted freedom to be anywhere at any time. That was true at the time I wrote that. But, really, secretly, I wanted more from life. I just didn't have more because I wasn't brave enough to say I wanted more. I wanted to be in love.
Since I departed to Vietnam, things rapidly changed with the non-relationship I was not having. I had to admit to myself that I missed him... a lot... very often a very difficult thing for me to do since relationships are the thing I'm always sacrificing for other goals. For a little while I wanted to be absolutely right that it was my career that needed to be tended to. After all, I was needed out there in the world.
But all of that was bullshit, and I could feel it. All of my spiritual knowledge tells me that we can have and create exactly what we want, so I was making excuses to not have exactly what I wanted.
When I make choices and I'm confused about which direction to take, I ask the question:
What would Love do?
Love, referring to the highest good and highest potential of all there is in all of the universes, has the answers to our biggest questions. It is always the highest choice.
Would Love give up the career? Would Love tell me to sacrifice myself? Would Love tell me to chase him? Would Love tell me I am more important and to let him go so I can go change the world?
Love always chooses what is in the greatest good for Self, and also greatest good for everyone involved. They are one in the same when you believe we are all connected. Love does not sacrifice one person's happiness for another, there is no such thing when you come from the highest form of love. Love paves the way for more love. Love brings light and freedom. Love does not sacrifice long term results for short term gains. The highest choice is that which produces the highest good. So in this case, I realized, Love would pave the way to allow for more in my life. Traveling alone in a foreign country and not talking to anyone for months at at time is probably not the way to allow for more love in my life.
(As a sidenote, there may be times in our lives where the highest choice is to leave a relationship or leave a career, or end a situation to allow us more freedom. This is okay because Love always chooses what's in the best interest for everyone involved. It is what will produce the highest good.)
So, I asked Spirit to show me specifically what Love would do. I opened my heart and asked for a new plan. The old plan that I was living by was no longer current. I had changed goals. I wanted both love and a career and Spirit was now following my direction. I was no longer content with sacrificing one for the other. You may find the following process of revising your divine plan strange, so I will just say that it is very possible to do that... to ask for a change... at any point in time. After all you are here as a creator, not as a person who lets things happen to you. You are here to direct your life by free will. Your spiritual advisors work for you, you just have to give them direction about what you want out of life and what you want to experience. So here's how my conversation went (yes, it is precisely this informal, after all if Spirit created you and language itself, she can understand anything you say...or feel):
Look, Spirit. I miss him. I don't want to go a whole year like I had initially thought. That's too long. But I want to be purposeful in my life. I want to make a difference and use my gifts for good.
"Okay." (I heard this in my mind as I connected to Spirit)
I need a new plan. Revise the plan, please. Give me a workaround. I am no longer going to sacrifice having a relationship for having a career. Give me a plan that allows both.
"Okay," Spirit said, again.
And that very same day, my girlfriend randomly spit out several ingenious plans on how I would still be able to write freely, not allow my frustrations about my life in Hawai`i get in the way, and have love and happiness while doing good in the world and living in Hawai`i. And all that without me asking her to do so. She seemed to be in tune. Spirit was talking through her. She didn't know I had asked for a revision.
I chose one of the routes she had suggested and the next day booked a flight home. It was a choice to not allow my fears to run me, to allow my infinite and abundant spirit to direct me toward the greatest version of myself, one that allows all possibilities to happen and does not sacrifice pieces of my life for the other. I allowed Love to lead the way to what I have secretly wanted in my heart, more Love. In fact, my biggest concern was how I was going to explain to you that I had followed Spirit, then changed my mind and followed Spirit, again, but in a different direction. If you're confused, I don't blame you.
Now the irony of this whole story is that the non-relationship turned to nothing right before I returned home (it proved to not meet very specific criteria but the heart does want what it wants, so there may be another story to this). At that point though, it didn't matter to me. What mattered was that I was successful in letting Spirit and the Universe know that I was ready, and I was willing to do what Love asked. I was willing to move thousands of miles to have Love. I was no longer going to sacrifice Love for other forms of happiness. In this, I was successful in allowing my heart to follow what Love would do.
So back to life in Hawai`i, seems I didn't miss a beat. Now I wait patiently for Love to manifest himself and share his highest good with me.
If there is one part of the plan that has stayed the same, it is that Staton Ann will continue to travel to Japan for healing sessions monthly and will take on a full workoad while there. Her time in Hawai`i will be considered her fun time and writing time, and sessions will be limited for the time being in Hawai'i. If you are looking for a session in Japan, please contact firstname.lastname@example.org for bookings. All other inquiries can be sent to email@example.com.