THE BLOG
01/29/2015 12:12 pm ET Updated Mar 31, 2015

12 Zany Uses For Your Smartphone Camera

Mike Kemp via Getty Images

I was never a photography buff, but I'm fascinated by the unusual ways you can use your cell phone to capture "the moment." I've now thought up ways that even Kodak would consider creepily obsessive.

Yeah, yeah -- we've all heard to take inventory of what's in your suitcase before traveling, or to photograph your car so you remember where to find it at the shopping mall. Fun times. The attendant loves driving me around in his little security cart playing "Auto Findo" based on the crooked, blurry shot of my license plate adjacent to a trash dumpster.

And if I weren't Jewish, I would use it to record where the Easter eggs were hidden so I wouldn't have stale jelly beans under my television stand when Christmas rolled around. Don't think about that one too long.

I also don't fish, so there's no sense using it to remember which part of a stream all the abalone were biting last week. See why I don't fish?

So now, without further ado... (and really what IS "Ado?" And can we capture it on film?)

A Dozen Unique Ideas For Your Smartphone Camera<

  1. While at the beach or pool, reach around with your cell phone and check out your backside to make sure you're not getting sunburn. March down the sand methodically photographing other sun worshipper's backs to prove to them they've had enough.
  2. When you loan out a book or a power tool to someone, take their picture holding the item so you'll remember who has it. This is why it's called a "photographic memory!" Besides, pretty soon, word will get out and unattractive friends will stop asking to borrow from you.
  3. Record for posterity (and Jenny Craig) the exact level of ice cream in a partially-eaten half gallon container before the babysitter comes over so you have evidence.
  4. Capture the covers displayed on your bathroom magazine rack when you have a clogged toilet so you can make sure and put different issues out next time the plumber visits.
  5. Snap your last haircut so you can bring it back to the stylist next time and insist she do it the exact same way. Alternatively, bring it to a new beautician and admonish her never to cut your hair like that. Ever.
  6. Take a picture of the hot/cold lever in the shower so you remember how it's swiveled for just the perfect temperature. Do the same thing with the little dial on your toaster after you've crisped the perfect bagel.
  7. Take a selfie of yourself through a peephole of a front door so next time you knock, you'll know precisely how far back to stand, what angle you should tilt your head and how widely you should smile to make the best (concavely distorted) first impression.
  8. Click yourself each time you go to a funeral so you're not wearing the same outfit. Do you want the dearly departed to think you only own one black dress?
  9. Take a picture of your child's pouting/frowning face so next time you threaten that it will freeze that way, you will be able to illustrate.
  10. Keep all photos of you, your friends and relatives (at concerts, parties, vacations) caught blinking and post them all online in an album called, "My New Narcolepsy Support Group."
  11. When your kids ask you to buy certain cookies or a junk cereal that you don't want them to have, move all of this product aside in the grocery store and take a picture of the empty shelf (with price tag) to show they sold out. "Sorry, there was a big run on Lucky Charms cereal this week, guys."
  12. Take a selfie both laughing and frowning -- decide which expression causes the least amount of wrinkles. Assume that expression 100% of the time during any emotional outburst.
There you go! Now you can forget about using your cell phone as a mirror, that's completely old school. You have a dozen new ways to make your life more interesting. And here's a bonus: Always forgetting where you leave your cell phone? Take a picture of the location that you're about to set it down in. Ta Da! Don't think about that one too long, either.

Which one is your favorite? How about you? Any unusual ways you've used your camera or video?
Visit the Author for more quirky humor on her website HERE.