10/23/2009 04:57 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

I Am "Channeling" Mr. Whipple. America's Workplace Guru and Job's Author...Wants' to Be a Charmin Ambassador in Times Square...For Real! Hire ME--P&G!

Charmin Toilet Paper is as American as Motherhood and Apple Pie. Speaking of Motherhood...I remember my own Mom... watching her "stories", while ironing..."stories" was the word at that time, that ladies called their favorite soap operas... and Mom always chuckling when a Proctor & Gamble "Charmin" commercial came on the screen, featuring Mr. Whipple...telling his grocery store's customer's. "Please don't squeeze the Charmin."

The TV George Whipple...looked like he was born for the part. I never ever believed he was an actor. Right from Central Casting...he was my Santa Claus...he was real.

So when I saw the articles on line, and on "Regis and Kelly" this morning, that P&G is interviewing for "Ambassador's for Charmin" for the new Charmin Potty's in New York City's Times Square...I felt drawn to interview...almost as if I was Channeling George Whipple.

Charmin is the only toilet paper to ever touch any "behind" in my family. For real! (My Mother even carried it in her purse, for travel. We were Catholic, so in those days if you went in to St. Patrick's, in NYC- woman had to have their head covered...don't ask --even a piece of tissue, would time, my Mother actually draped and bobby-pinned a sheet of Charmin on her head. I was horrified. I remember thinking, what would the "Cardinal" say, if he came out and Mom with Charmin on her head. Was it sacrilegious? She meant no disrespect... My Mother turned to me and said "Stephen...please the Cardinal would approve...after all it's Charmin". The rule no longer applies in the Church...but it just reminded me of Charmin.

Now a day's I make a living mostly on TV as a talking head, about workplace issues. I am the author of two books, on jobs, how to keep them and find them. An "Ambassador" .hmmm ...I thought the only way to get a job like that, was to raise a lot of money for whoever was the elected President of the time. I remember "Shirley Temple Black" was an what would be a better job, then to be the "Charmin Ambassador" in Times less. After all, my newest book, is a global hit, published in nine languages, the HarperCollins book "Bulletproof Your Job"

I represent real America...the struggle for work, I hear from people every day. While I am escorting them in and out of the potty and helping to keep it clean and filled with Charmin, I am more than happy to help the with their workplace questions, all in honor of the late Mr. Whipple! I "sniff" a new book in the air.

Plus...I am always worried, as to where a bathroom is...even at work. In NYC a public bathroom is harder to find, then a working payphone...and who wants to crash a Starbuck' what better job, then to have my office, as the bathroom, figuratively speaking!

Pick me Charmin....PLEASE!

Copyright 2009
Stephen Viscusi
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Stephen Viscusi is the author of Bulletproof Your Job (HarperCollins). He can be reached at HYPERLINK "" Please visit his website at HYPERLINK ""