I've been making some major changes recently... moving to Colorado, completely revamping my business, taking on some new work, selling my beloved car and many others. Honestly, it feels like I've been in a constant state of change since the start of my quarter-life crisis when I tore apart my perfect little life and began again!
The difference is that now, I handle it with more grace and ease.
I'm not perfect, not even close. I still break down from time to time, cry my eyes out, get stressed, frazzled, and feel out of sorts. That's just part of being human!
Another big difference? These changes aren't jarring to me at all.
When getting ready for the big move, I remember constantly waiting for it to hit me. Waiting for that moment when my mind and body realized, "whoa, we're moving across the country again." The time to move out of my apartment came and went. The night before flying out of Hawaii came and went. The big moving day came and went. The days of settling into life in Colorado also came and went. While there was stress, there was no big jarring moment.
When I sold the car I loved and never wanted to let go, I also remember waiting for it to hit me. Waiting for that moment of, "OMG my car is gone!" The feeling of major change. It never came either. I went from driving my car, to selling my car, to driving a rental, to buying a new and different car. There was stress, but there was no big OMG moment.
I think that's the key difference. Stress, overwhelm and sadness are always going to crop up in our lives, regardless of what we're doing. Yes I was stressed and even cried a few times when I made the big move... but I did those same things when I wasn't planning on moving and when I just had my business. It's part of life.
What makes transitions so hard are the big jarring moments. The ones where we leave the actual present moment and go into our head. We freak ourselves out, start the negative fearful mind cycle and focus on what we don't want or have.
Here are four steps to make a smooth transition during major life changes.
1) Give yourself adequate time to adjust.
Regardless of how comfortable you are with change or how much you've mastered living in the present moment, change takes time. You need to give yourself the space to adjust and settle in. Don't move across the country and pack your calendar full of events, meetings, meetups or anything else. Give yourself time to settle in.
2) Just be in the moment, every single one.
If I had to pick one thing to tell you that would make the biggest impact on creating a smooth transition, it's just being in the moment. Yes, you will still feel stress, overwhelm and other not-so-fun feelings, but those are always going to come up. Don't allow them to be anything more than they are... "in this moment, I'm feeling stressed." It's just a physical sensation in your body, it doesn't mean anything more than that.
The moment you go into your head and start telling yourself stories around why you feel what you feel, that's the moment that you invite the chaotic, jarring, stressful experience in. You think about how hard it is. You remember how different or easy or comfortable things were before. You fantasize about changes or the future. You add unnecessary hype and drama to everything that's happening.
Just be here. Breathe. Repeat.
3) Make self care a priority.
Take extra good care of yourself during this time. Sleep more, take bubble baths, go for walks outside, read your favorite book and cuddle with your furry friends. When we make changes, it's easy for the well to get drained, so make it a priority.
You may feel like there's so much going on or you just don't have time, but make the time. It's essential to your health and well-being that you take extra good care of yourself right now. Big life changes don't have to be followed by sickness because you ran yourself into the ground. Just take good care of yourself from the start.
4) Don't take on more than is necessary.
Don't take on anything that's not essential during this time. No visitors, travel plans, extra projects or hours at work, favors for friends or any other added responsibilities. You have enough on your plate whether it's ending a relationship, moving, starting a new job or any other major life change. Just focus on what you have to do for this change, the rest can wait. It's not worth overwhelming yourself!
Take action now!
What major life changes are you experiencing right now? Where can you make some shifts in order to transition with more grace and ease? Is it focusing on each moment as you're in it, or maybe it's that you're taking on too much on top of this change?
Either way, share in the comments below how you plan to lighten your load, take better care of yourself or create the space to settle into the newness.
Ready to make some major life changes?
To rediscover yourself and what you want in life?
To find the work that lights you up and brings you joy?
To creating fulfilling, deeply connected relationships?
To uncover your passions and purpose?
If so, I have just the thing for you. My signature program Foundations for Unshakable Joy starts on February 10th! This is the exact foundational process that took me from a stressed and depressed mess, to living a life built around my passions and purpose.
Stephenie Zamora is the founder of www.stepheniezamora.com, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Through her Mastery program, she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help men and women build passion-based lives and businesses they love. Click here to access her free Foundations for Unshakable Joy video training series and learn the unexpected trick to transforming your life with one single question!
For more by Stephenie Zamora, click here.