04/17/2014 05:01 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Often It's Not Always About What You Want

More often, it's about what you need.

This is a lesson that the Universe is hammering into me lately and one that I know to be true to the core of my being. I fret over the options and possibilities, try to will what I envision to life, and work so hard to convince myself that the more comfortable, easy route will do. Oh, you didn't know coaches do this too? Well, we do.

I'm a student of life and a lover of growth. Because of this, my life is always in flux. I'm always changing, learning, stretching, growing, and expanding. I'm always aware of what's next and ready for the challenge. But that doesn't mean I'm immune to growing pains and that I don't, from time to time, try to avoid them.

That doesn't mean I'm not a fan of ease and comfort. Of course I am, I'm human. Despite my constant desire and need for evolution, sometimes what's asked of me is scary and hard. Sometimes it's unclear how it's of service to me at all. And yet, the tiny voice pipes up and ever so gently and ever so lovingly, nudges me forward.

It's time.
This isn't right.
Here's what you need to do.
Trust me, I know.


It's not always about what you want, it's about what you need.

And that's an incredibly important distinction to make.

Sometimes it's not about your desire to build a business quickly so that you can make gobs of money doing what you love. Sometimes there's something you need to learn, experience, fail at, or try, before you can become the person you need to be to build the business that will make you gobs of money doing what you love.

Sometimes it's not about your desire to be with the person in front of you because that's who you believe you want to be with. Sometimes we need to leave the ones we love in order to create the space to find ourselves. Sometimes we need to be left or hurt by the ones we love in order to become the person necessary to have a truly fulfilling partnership.

Sometimes it's not about your desire to meet your goal and live happily ever after staring at the recognition of accomplishment on your wall or in your photo album. Sometimes it's about the journey. The, at times, painful, hard, confusing, trying, and will breaking journey. Sometimes it's about the failures that force us to re-evaluate what we really want to create in the first place, and more importantly, why. Sometimes you have to change direction, start over, or fall on your face in order to finally succeed.

All of this to say, don't give up.

The journey is as important as the outcome.

When you feel like things aren't going the way you want, remember that it may be more about what you need in this moment, not whether or not it's something you can have. You are always being supported, guided, and given exactly what you need.

Trust that.

Especially when it's hard.

Stephenie Zamora is the founder of, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Through her Mastery program, she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help men and women build passion-based lives and businesses they love. Click here to access her free Foundations for Unshakable Joy™ video training series and learn the unexpected trick to transforming your life with one single question!

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