03/05/2013 02:41 pm ET Updated May 05, 2013

Why the Universe Keeps Giving You What You Don't Want

Sometimes the universe delivers exactly what we ask for, in a way that feels like exactly what we don't want.

This can make it very difficult to see and feel that you're being supported. I promise, you're always being supported. When it feels like things aren't going your way, you have to stop and be honest about where you're blocking the flow. Oftentimes, these blocks come from the fact that we don't realize we're being given exactly what we asked for -- exactly the way we need it. The universe (or god, goddess -- whatever suits you) isn't a magic genie where your wish is its command. It will 100 percent support you in creating a life you love by giving you the challenges, experiences, tools, skills and relationships you need in order to get to where you want to go. Sure, it would feel better if you just got the awesome job, right? If Prince Charming just showed up at your door already?

Probably... But think about this:

You might not be the person you need to be in order to really thrive in that job, relationship or experience without going through something else first.

If you're crystal clear about what you want and taking constant action toward making it happen, but the universe consistently presents you with something you're resisting, it's time to lean into it and uncover what it is you need to learn, gain, experience or work through. Sometimes the things you're resisting are a necessary part of the journey and you're not going to get there if you continue to push back. Sometimes opportunities and connections we need aren't where we think we're going to find them. Sometimes we need to be in challenging relationships or jobs to get clearer on what we do want, learn about ourselves and grow in ways we never would otherwise.

1) Look for the lesson or the gift.

If you're being presented with a challenge or something other than what you wanted, learn to look for the lesson or the gift. What can be learned or gained from the situation or relationship? Where do you need to grow? How can you be of better service, show up more fully, or learn to be more compassionate? What tools are you gaining? There is always a lesson and gift in every situation. Find it.

2) Stop resisting and start moving with the flow.

Releasing your resistance doesn't mean that you can't continue going after what you want, it means that you're allowing life to unfold as it should. It also means learning how to show up to each and every moment fully present. Doing and being the best that you can in every situation, regardless of whether it's a easy or challenging. How you do anything is how you do everything, so learn to show up full and give your all to every person and situation you find yourself in.

3) Stay positive.

Mindset is everything my friend, you have to stay positive. Yes, feel what you're feeling and if you need to fall apart or get upset, that's completely okay. Process whatever you're feeling, but don't let it consume your spirit and drag you down.

I'd love to hear from you!

Have you ever experienced this in your life? What was the situation and what did you end up learning or gaining that helped you get to exactly where you wanted to be? Maybe you're experiencing this right now... if so, leave a comment below sharing where you're at and what's showing up in your life that you're resisting.

Stephenie Zamora is the founder of, a full-service, life-purpose development, design and branding boutique. Here she merges the worlds of personal development and branding to help young women build passion-based businesses. Click here to download her free guide, "The Unexpected Trick to Transforming Your Life With ONE Single Question."

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