THE BLOG
03/29/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

WASHINGWOOD: THE STATE OF THE MOTION UNION ACADEMY SPEECH REPUBLICAN RESPONSE GALA

After THE STATE OF THE MOTION UNION ACADEMY SPEECH & AWARDS GALA the Republicans threw a post party Response/Rejoinder. This year's spectacle was filmed at the historic and elegant Virginia State House, designed by Thomas Jefferson. Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell starred in an interesting tent-revival cult meeting, replete with one hundred enthusiastic extras, who were given their perma-grin lip prosthetics at the door. Each was directed to act as they'd received a free 90 day refill of their favorite anti-depressant. Of course, this was in direct contrast to last year's gothic horror event where Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal portrayed a tour guide at Disneyland's Haunted Mansion.
Governor McDonnell wasted no time in immediately throwing fate to the wind and taking bold political risks in his speech. Going out on a Churchillian limb, he "quoted scripture," praised Jefferson's architectural skills and urged every American to rally behind the proposition that terrorists should be PROSECUTED as opposed to the Obama Administration's current policy of tickling every terrorist's ass with a long rooster feather. Gov. McDonnell's performance was deftly delivered as the speech had the intellectual tone of someone reading Goodnight, Moon to their chihuahua.
As he spoke, one couldn't help but to think of the similarities between Virginia's second Governor, Thomas Jefferson, and the current Governor, Mr. McConnell. Both stood erect and had opposable thumbs. Both wore wigs. Or appeared to...
Yet, some part of me, perhaps my brain, couldn't help but be grateful that Thomas Jefferson was dead. For had Jefferson lived to witness the spectacle in his State House, I fear he may, just may, have traveled back in time and reconsidered "architecture" whilst wandering the aisles of Ye Olde Hobby Hut.
Afterward, I watched the analysis of the State of the Union Address. I thought about catching the Fox News Channel's coverage but then quickly realized that watching Fox News analyze a speech by President Obama is a lot like listening to the American Nazi Party decide who made the best Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof.