12/14/2009 01:57 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Lifestyles of the Rich and Lamest

If ever there was a time in history when so much personal wealth collided head-on with rampant identity crisis like present day Los Angles, I can't think of it. I understand the concept of "money is no object," but overspending just to overspend isn't sexy. Unfortunately my opinion is just that, so the spending continues. The good news is that ridiculous displays of opulence are often entertaining ... take these gems for example:

Luxury Ice Company - Do you ever come across something where you think it's either the dumbest idea ever or the worlds most perfect fake? I had that reaction when I first looked at the website for "luxury ice." In fact, I scoured every corner of the thing searching for even the subtlest clue that the joke was on me. Sadly, none were found and I had to succumb to the fact that there really does exist a website for people whose drinks are just too special for tap water, Brita filtered.. or even bottled water ice. Sometimes you need a professional to do a professional's job, and the day has finally come where folks no longer have to slum it with subpar homemade frozen water. Hallelujah. (Pair it with your Rodeo Drive born Bling H20 for the world's most expensive glass of ice water.)

The $350 t-shirt - Say what? Really, I'm not cheap. And I fully understand quality and the concept of paying for it. But lines must be drawn, and this is so far over mine that I can't even fully comprehend it. Yea, it's a pretty nice t-shirt (better be!), and it does look super comfortable and pre-worn like the OP shirt it is claiming to sibling, but it still costs $350. There are a lot of terribly ridiculous things in this world I can fully support (Cosmo mag and reality TV come to mind) but the $350 t-shirt is not one of them. The sad part is I know there are more expensive t-shirts out there if I cared to look for them. The "just because you have it" dollar gets milked by companies like a Swiss dairy cow, and the milk keeps flowing. (Technically, the linked shirt is from NYC, but give me 10 minutes in Fred Segal and I bet I could locate its West Coast cousin.)

Life Coaches - I have to admit, this is one I love to hate with an undecided emphasis on love or hate. Just the name alone makes it sound like a waste of money; didn't we leave the need for coaches back in little league? And who pays someone to listen to their relationship woes andfootwear drama ... isn't that what friends are for? But I love them because, well, I'm not going to lie, I'd be an awesome life coach. The perfect mix of brutal honesty, good advice and fashion senses. So what I'm sheepishly admitting is: I hate it until you hire me, and then I think everyone should have one. Step one: Clean out that fridge and rid yourself of your "leftovers". (See? Heavy.)

Pet spa and hotel - Don't get me wrong, I love my dogs. And compared to most, they get treated like a pair of roman canine queens lounging their lazy days away. But it's nothing like what goes on in the posh overbelly of the Los Angeles privileged pet scene. Though it's not even the prices or services that bother me on this one, but more the excess of extravagant phrases ... pet hotel, pet spa, pet masseuse, luxury suite boarding, chauffeured transportation (!). I dunno, it all just reminds me of that person who brings their dog into a completely inappropriate establishment, and when the concierge politely informs "sorry, but dogs aren't allowed.." the response is a squeaky talking-to-dog-voiced "but thisss isn't a doggg.. it's Mr. BoBo Cakes ... yessss it isss".

Truth is, if you have money and a need in Los Angeles, someone has most likely created a luxurious way of doing it. They say youth is wasted on the young, which is debatable, but wealth is wasted on the wealthy? Usually an undebatable yes.