04/04/2007 02:26 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

The Whole World's Mad, Save Me and Thee...

So really, one must be labelled as emotionally distraught to be against the war in Iraq? Indeed, "not being in one's right mind" has always been cited in the W for Dummies handbook (a titularly redundant and alarmingly slim volume) as the root cause of anyone's aversion to the policies posited by the current administration. As the once ubiquitous but now strangely elusive Dr. Frist himself once demonstrated, one need not even be present in the room to divine the agent of a dreaded ailment. What does it say for the expanding catalogue of former military advisors, generals, analysts, etc. who have also expressed their doubts about Operation Schlock and Guffaw? Does it imply that our military recruitment methods are flawed if those in possession of all their emotional faculties are allowed to serve? For if pain addles the mind, forcing the sufferer to experience random and unhealthy conscientiousness along with severe bouts of sensitivity to profiteering and an acute aversion to moral corruption, then the agony inflicted by 6 years of Bushist rule has caused mass dementia resembling scenes painted by Brueghel or Bosch. Whole cities, are now overrun by formerly patriotic citizens (who once carried around shopping bags of duct tape and plastic sheeting) having been tragically transubstantiated into hand-wringing bleeding hearts muttering "Chomsky-Chomsky-Chomsky!". It has been reported that bands of teeth-gnashing, eye-rolling savages wearing everything from overalls to short sleeve button down shirts and clip-on ties wander the countryside relentlessly hunting for paper trails and traces of the middle class.

So lacking in subtlety and awareness is George Bush that inflicting pain on the world must have the effect of releasing gallons of endorphins into his own watery bloodstream causing euphoria and spontaneous, pulsing erections lasting days on end. How else to explain the increasingly bizarre behavior in him and in his enablers? It is a case of the insane accusing the healthy of madness. The world has always been viewed by the Bushniks in terms relative to their own position, like a sort of Neo-Concentric cosmology. They are here to guide the rest of the blind world with their own vision of America™ and like many who have placed the mantle of leadership upon their own shoulders become drenched in hubris and delusion and end up leading their charges over the cliff's edge and into the abysm. For a nation so convinced it is populated by individuals, how is it they behave like mindless lambs being led to slaughter? The shepherd's assure them their fears are baseless and yet the once distant sounds of the gnashing, tearing machinery get nearer and nearer.

Don't wanna go down this road? You're just emotionally distraught.