10/23/2013 12:46 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Study Indicates That Sad Songs Say So Much (Even More Than You Think)

As a minor key kind of gal, I often wonder:

Why does sad music make me feel so happy?

Why do I feel so thrilled when Jacques Brel sings of abandonment? Why do I prefer my Chopin in C sharp minor? Why do I love Leonard Cohen so much?

Aristotle thought that the answer to this phenomenon was catharsis -- by immersing ourselves in sad feelings, we free ourselves from those same emotions in real life.

But psychologist Ai Kawakami has a more interesting explanation: that the sadness we feel "in the realm of artistic appreciation" is not the same thing as the sadness we feel "in everyday life." When we listen to tragic music, he says, we understand perfectly well that we're listening to something "gloomy, meditative, and miserable." But that's not what we feel. Instead, this kind of music provokes romantic emotions -- "fascinated, dear, and in love" -- and even blithe ones, like feeling merry, animated, and "in the mood for dancing."

Kawakami calls these "vicarious emotions" -- we experience second-hand sadness, and somehow this transforms it into something lovely and positive.

But why are our emotional systems set up this way? Why is sadness beautiful when viewed from a distance? No one knows the answer yet.

But I have a guess. I think that love and loss go together, flip sides of the same coin -- and when we hear music that makes us think of loss, it also makes us appreciate love -- fragile, fleeting, evanescent, transcendent love.

*For insights into the powers of introverts from Susan Cain, & updates on her upcoming personal & corporate training sessions for introverts, connect here.


*Lead image illustrated by Olimpia Zagnoli