09/22/2006 10:42 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

The Democrats: Too Clever by Half

How about those new, Bush-approved Geneva Conventions? Great, huh?

This is why I was yelling at Harry Reid during a bloggers conference call last week. (In response, he told me he wished I could see the list of all the people "who call my office complaining about me picking a fight.")

Goddamn, this Democratic "leadership" is just too fucking clever by half. Now they're left holding their flabby dicks in their limp hands, and our democracy is slowly circling the bowl.

It reminds me of this baseball team I once knew. Even though they won their division the previous year, the know-it-all manager connived them into a lower national tournament bracket, basically telling them in so many words they weren't capable of winning in the appropriate, more competitive bracket. Well, that show of confidence worked wonders: they lost almost every game, and dropped out early.

Deja vu all over again. But the stakes are so much higher here.

The Democrats don't so much want to win the mid-term elections as they want to sit back and hope the Republicans lose it for themselves. This is what I was trying to tell Harry Reid: People will only believe in the Democrats again if they stop calculating every word and just stand up and fight for them. Instead, we get this.

Nice work, Harry. Nice work. Now the Democrats (surprise, surprise) look like ciphers, and the Republicans look like fucking statesmen - merely for barely shaving the definition of torture. And you sold democracy down the river by hedging your bets.

Hey, but at least no one will be calling your office today, complaining you picked a fight. Why, you're just a regular Miss Congeniality!