03/20/2013 06:40 pm ET Updated May 20, 2013

Don't Hate Me Because I'm... Beautiful, Fat, Young


Lately there have been a lot of articles criticizing three young women in the media. They are usually over the top, almost hate filled and one wonders why the animus? Like the old commercial said, "Don't Hate Me Because I'm Beautiful" which appealed to women not to be jealous of a beautiful model tossing her beautiful hair around, and made you feel lousy. Not only did you not have her looks and hair, you hated her! This begs the question: Do women hate other women for all kinds of attributes more than men do about their fellow man?

In the case of beauty, yes perhaps. Why can't we accept looks as a 'power tool?' We spend enough on magazines and cosmetics telling us how to achieve it!

Anne Hathaway has been the object of such scorn for multiple reasons: her looks, her acceptance speeches, her hosting of the Academy Awards. Ok, that deserves critique. She stunk. But so did James Franco. Come to think of it, he gets criticized as a pretty boy, but boy, can he act! I must admit, that I used to love Anne in The Princess Diaries, but lately she has developed a kind of overly practiced, faux humble act that reads as pretentious and inauthentic at least, cringe worthy, at worst. But why such venom? She replaces Gwyenth Paltrow as the young actress we feel is so annoying in her public pronouncements that we are now disliking her work. That's wrong.

Anne, get a grip and stop trying to make us like you so much and then we will. Remember Sally Field, one of your idols, got ridiculed for stating that "we liked her, we really liked her." She got hold of herself and won us back. But then she's older and we don't envy old! Or maybe longevity is the next target. Watch it Betty White... they like you now -- but, just wait!

"Don't hate me because I'm fat" is the Lena Dunham cry and I have to admit, I'd admired her talent and accomplishment at first but am really getting sick of her weight being thrust in my face, so to speak. But everyone seems so focused on this it makes one wonder if she has succeeded in changing the criteria about women-on-women jealousy! Reading countless articles in which she threatens to shove her thighs down my throat -- ooohh that's a scary and unfortunate image -- and the constant unappealing nudity in each episode, makes me want to avoid that show as I've done after one viewing. I guess if you announce yourself to be the voice of your generation you can expect attacks. ( But to me, it's like that girl who wears men's clothes and no makeup and snarls at the Barbies for using their looks. She knows she can't compete in that area so she demeans it or avoids it totally. She "protesth too much!") How about just 'being' the character you play and not talking about it? But she is still young and perhaps that comes with the territory. When we are in our twenties, it is all about us.

And speaking of young, finally there is poor Taylor Swift. All of a sudden she is complaining about people thinking all she does is have bad love affairs and write songs about them. Which she does and she has. And which has made her a rich star at the age of 23. And now she's responding to jokes about younger men -- well they'd have to be in diapers -- saying those who make said jokes (Tina and Amy) are going to hell because of it. Lighten up Taylor -- but lighten up everyone who is after her now too. You should only have her talent, and money! I know, I know. It's not fair. And think of yourself at 23. I was barely able to put a sentence together and living off my parents I think.

These women of accomplishment are to be praised, but they have to also not take themselves so seriously or they open the door to attacks. I'm just still wondering why they struck such chords in the rest of us. The bottom line is the same old, same old -- women do get more flack for anything they do while men seem to not notice as much when other men succeed.

Ladies, there is room for all of us. Some use their looks, some use their connections, some their
brains, some their talents. It's a tough world out there. We're being told to 'lean forward' to 'lean back.' It gets so confusing! "Can't we all just get along?" Oh wait -- that was about racism, not feminism. I still like it.