01/27/2013 05:04 pm ET Updated Mar 29, 2013

I'd Rather Stay Sick, Thanks

The other day I was sick in bed and sort of channel surfing, letting the TV pass the time for me. Eyes were too runny to read! Okay, okay, I was just too lazy and feeling sorry for my cold and congested self.

I noticed something that I'd sort of subliminally registered before but now it was made abundantly clear. Advertising of Medicines are plenty scary!

You know all those ads with people of a 'certain age' running through fields, holding hands or otherwise flirting while the voice-over announcer sneaks in the stuff you really should be concentrating on!

The Side Effects

Here are a few examples of things that could happen while you are running through those fields or having sex because you now can, but do you even want to if these things could happen?

Headaches, chest pain, dry mouth, breast enlargement in men... and these are merely the "common ones."

Next come less common ones including: rashes, itching, incoordination (I didn't know that was even a word), painful urination. And then, if you are really lucky, you can become: confused, aggressive,suicidal or depressed! If I were any of the less common I'd be depressed.

Another medication starts with the common: inability to have an erection, sexual problems...or are those the same one? Excessive sweating, involuntary quivering... is that same one? You get the idea.

And then a rare side effect which sounds down right pleasant: Extreme sense of well-being but wait, along with it can come blood clot, liver tissue death and something that I don't even know what it is... Paroxysmal Choreoathetosis which sounds mighty scary as well as Extrapyramidal Reaction but maybe that's only in Egypt.

But the really bad thing is you are being wooed and misdirected by the theory of a picture being worth all those words! And in this case hiding what you really want to know!

I've been concentrating on avoiding Joe Theisman and his super beta prostate ads because they are so annoying and thankfully I'll never need that product. But from now on I will be listening to every single ad for a medicine and forget those romantic pictures, folks. I think the diseases may be better than the treatments!